Why doesn’t my ex talk to me?

One of the most frequently asked questions after a breakup is: “Why isn’t my ex talking to me?” Before delving into the possible explanations, it is important to keep in mind that our ex-partner is not obliged to do so.

You should not be waiting for a contact when the relationship has already ended. Doing so can cause more anxiety, anger, sadness and frustration. Besides, it stagnates you and prevents you from facing the loss.

Given all this, rather than asking yourself “why doesn’t my ex talk to me?”, you should ask yourself: why do you expect to talk to a person who is no longer part of your life? Although this last question is very interesting, in this article we will focus on the first. Let’s dig deeper!

Why my ex doesn’t talk to me: possible reasons

Below, we will review several reasons why your ex is not talking to you. But before you do, you need to remember that, regardless of the reason, his decision not to contact you does not reflect your value as a person.

1. He is coping with grief

Whether he left you or you did it, a possible reason that answers the question “Why doesn’t my ex talk to me?” is that he is facing his grief. Getting over a breakup is not easy, since, as an article published in Philosophia indicates, ending a relationship entails the loss of things that are highly valued.

Along these lines, it may be that you have decided to apply zero contact to avoid suffering and not remembering what you have lost. In this policy, the person cuts off all or most of the lines of communication with the other—in some cases it is not possible to end all of them, such as when the couple has a child together.

Through the zero contact technique, you avoid receiving news from your ex-partner, which helps to accept the new situation. It is advisable to respect the other person’s decision and avoid confusing things, unless you have a clear proposal to return (in case you were the one who broke up the relationship).

2. You need emotional space

The desire for space is very common after a separation. Your ex needs time to process what he is feeling and thinking. He requires space to recover from the pain that afflicts him before he is ready to resume contact.

Talking to you won’t help him feel better. Findings from a study published in Personal Relationships show that contact with an ex-partner slows the decline in love and sadness. So, the best thing he or she can do for himself is not to talk to you, at least for a while.

3. You want to set limits

Boundaries may be his way of protecting himself from the emotions that a conversation with you might provoke. Also, they may set the limit of not talking to you to avoid confusion or misinterpretations.

This type of boundary helps you delimit your emotional space. In addition, it allows you to advance in your process of healing, overcoming and restoring yourself. After the breakup, it is normal for him to want to be away from you in order to redefine his identity.

4. He’s over the breakup

Maybe your ex is in a post-grief stage: acceptance. Since he has already accepted and gotten over the breakup, he no longer feels the need to talk to you. He has moved on with his life and since you are no longer part of it, you prefer to avoid contact.

So that, Instead of focusing on the past, he or she decides to focus on his or her present and future., in your dreams, interests and other relationships. He has discovered that life continues after you and that he does not need you to be happy.

5. He is meeting someone

Another possible explanation that answers the question of “Why doesn’t my ex talk to me?” It’s that he’s meeting someone else. In these cases, The normal thing is that I lose contact with yousince you are starting a new stage in your life.

After all, it is legal for him to do so. Imagine that someone comes into your life who restores your hope. In these cases, The normal thing is that you try to close past stagesNo?

6. He is angry or resigned

Another reason that may explain your ex’s lack of contact is that he is angry. The discomfort can have a thousand reasons: because you have left him, because of how things have gone, because of the moment you have chosen, etc. Anger is also a stage of grief, therefore, it is normal for you to feel that way.

He may also have resigned himself to the situation you have presented to him. Unlike anger, resignation not only leads us to negative situations. In this sense, Resigning ourselves to certain uncontrollable situations helps us accept a new reality that we cannot change..

7. He is not interested

Another possible reason why your ex isn’t talking to you is that he or she simply isn’t interested in doing so. He doesn’t want and doesn’t care to know about you. In these cases, it is also likely that he does not want to talk to you because he does not want to end up being your friend.

There are many explanations for why your ex doesn’t want to talk to you.. Each person may have a mix of reasons underlying their decision to maintain distance and zero contact.

What to do if my ex doesn’t talk to me?

There are no right or wrong guidelines, it all depends on each person and the circumstances. However, below are some suggestions to help you deal with this situation:

Accept and respect your choice: If your ex-partner doesn’t want to talk to you, respect their decision. Don’t seek him out or pressure him to talk. It is important that you accept the situation, even if it may be painful for you. Insisting and forcing will only make everything worse.Give him the space he needs: Give him space to process and accept his emotions. By supporting their decision, you are helping them in their process. Remember that each person deals with losses in their own way; If his or hers is to walk away and not talk, let him or her do it.Take advantage of your time: Instead of wasting time trying to talk to your ex, focus on yourself, your dreams, goals, and interests. Spend time with your friends and family. Don’t let your life stagnate because you don’t know anything about your ex.Learn from experience: The pain of ending a relationship is also an opportunity for growth. Learn from the mistakes you made so you don’t repeat them again. Reflect on the lessons that your relationship with your ex left you. Take advantage of what you are experiencing.Attend therapy: If you feel that you are not moving forward and that the separation is affecting your life in general, consider going to therapy. A psychologist can help you manage your feelings and find a healthy way to overcome the loss.

After analyzing your own situation, You will probably notice that it is understandable that your ex-partner does not want to have contact and that is why you should keep your distance.. We know that it is not easy, but, with the passage of time, you will be able to move on and forget about your ex.

What if he contacts me?

On the other hand, if your ex-partner decides to contact you again, be careful. Because? Because Often that only serves to raise false hopes in you or him. In these cases, it is better to keep your distance.

Take the time to think about what is best for you. If your ex contacts you, before responding, she thinks about whether that is what you want, she reflects on your feelings and chooses based on what you discover within yourself. Don’t rush to restart conversations with your ex.

Conclusion

There are several reasons why your ex doesn’t want to talk to you, from grieving to simply not being interested. The best thing you can do is accept and respect his choice, give him the space he needs, and focus on you.

Remember that the pain of a breakup can also be an opportunity to grow and learn from the experience. If you need help processing your emotions, Consider speaking with a mental health professional.

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