Why do you write to me and then don’t answer me? The 15 possible reasons

Receiving a new text message always gives you a great feeling.

Whether it’s a vibration, bubble sound, or techno beat, the notification is sure to grab your attention. It might even get you a little excited.

Then, when you see who sent it, there are a variety of possible reactions: boredom, annoyance, excitement, anger, happiness, laughter, etc.

However, there is one type of text that mostly causes confusion.

That’s a text from a guy who seems to be interested in you and after you reply to him, he doesn’t text back.

Trust me, I know full well how frustrating this can be.

You see the two tildes in blue and you don’t know what to think. This can drive a girl crazy (and not in a good way!)

You wonder: Why is he texting me and then not texting me back?

To help you answer this question, I’ll leave you with a list of 15 reasons why you can do this.

These answers may not be what you expected, but they will clear up your confusion.

Plus, they’ll make the next text he sends you much less stressful.

15 Reasons Why A Guy Texts You And Then Doesn’t Text You Back

1) You are confused about what you want

Men can be complicated creatures.

This guy who texts and then doesn’t text you back, he may not know what he wants. He may be very confused.

He wants to get closer and connect with you, but he’s not sure how attracted he is to you. Or maybe he’s not really interested in a romantic relationship with you.

They might be shy or uncomfortable and worried about losing you as a friend.

He may also really enjoy texting you, even if he’s also not sure what he wants to get out of it.

2) He just broke up with a relationship and is suffering

Even if he’s flirting, a guy who just broke up isn’t ready for something serious.

Basically, he is trying to distract himself, by texting you or having fun, by talking to you. But don’t take this too seriously.

This is not necessarily a bad thing and could lead to interesting conversations and interactions. But he may not pay constant attention to your conversations. He may be late in replying to many of the messages or not at all.

The important thing here is that you make sure you see the situation realistically.

If he just broke up, he’s not in a position to make a commitment to someone right away.

If you like this boy, it is better not to get your hopes up. In the long run you might realize that he cannot reciprocate you, as you are expecting.

3) You are his backup option

You’re not going to like this, but sometimes straight honesty is best.

Do you wonder why a man texts you and then doesn’t reply?

The answer could be that you are his second choice.

Some guys are quite strategic and always want to have any situation covered.

It could be that he texts you so he can make you available, if he can’t match other options.

One of the typical signs that the above is happening is if a guy sends you a couple of text messages and after a while he no longer responds.

One of his first options has said yes and you, meanwhile, are waiting.

4) He has a special attachment to you, but he does not know why

If you’ve ever grown attached to someone, but you’re not quite sure why, then you’ll understand this.

He wants to chat with you, but he himself doesn’t quite know why. He starts the conversation and then stops, because he feels confused.

Maybe he’s interested romantically, but he’s not quite sure.

Perhaps they can’t imagine dating you because of their differences such as religious or cultural backgrounds.

It may also be that you are not ready for a relationship right now. But he feels that if they ever had her, you would be the one for him.

Maybe something about you makes him feel really good and he’s still figuring out how much of it is physical attraction, connection to you, or something else entirely.

There is something you can do to make him decide to be with you and not think about anyone else. It’s about activating his hero instinct. Do you wonder what that is?

Men, after all, what they want is to protect and care for the woman they love.

It is in your biological nature and drives much of your behavior and motivations.

Relationship psychologist James Bauer is the one who came up with the term that’s catching on because, frankly, it’s true.

As he explains in his free video in English, the hero instinct is about a man’s need to be more than just a friend, just a lover, or just a guy you turn to once in a while.

He wants to be the one you lean on and turn to when a negative situation arises.

This triggers something deep within him and makes his love for you flow.

If you want to learn more about how to activate this in your man, watch James Bauer’s free video here.

5) He expects you to be the superstar of his friends

This guy considers you a very good friend.

So his inconsistency when it comes to texting may be a sign that he expects you to put up with any interruptions in his conversations.

If he’s sending you mixed signals, and it’s making you feel bad and confused, you better let him know.

You can also tell him directly that you’re looking for more than a friendship, if you’re comfortable with that.

Or it may happen that you don’t want him to find out about your feelings yet.

So, let him know that you’re not into games and that if he does have a conversation, he can’t leave you unanswered.

Be direct with this boy, you will see that he is the best option.

If you don’t feel comfortable in any kind of situation, you have every right to tell them so.

6) He’s just flirting for fun

As much as flirting can be meaningful, it can also just be for fun.

This guy who wants to be your friend might text you a little flirtatiously, just because he enjoys it.

Then he finds something else interesting to do and puts you aside. That easy.

He’s not looking to text to date you or cheat on his partner, if he has one.

He just wants to send you fun, chatty text messages and enjoy his day, while he has nothing better to do.

This can end up looking a bit frivolous. So you have to analyze, how much free time and patience you have, and also how much you enjoy texting.

7) He loves to hog your attention

Some guys are emotionally unavailable or immature.

They just crave attention and want to hog it at all times. They need to be the center of attention and they expect you to be there to provide it. That’s why he sends you messages and then nothing. He wants you to be constantly aware of him and he believes that he can achieve it, if he does not answer your messages right away.

So text, chat, gossip, and do whatever else it takes to keep your excitement going. And then it puts you on pause.

If this is your case, then it is not about him using you as a center of attention and a facilitator of the drama.

This is a course of action that I would walk away from, if I were you.

8) He doesn’t like you, but he feels lonely

Loneliness is a big problem, even for many young people.

When you feel alone, what is the first thing you do?

For many of us it’s simple: we grab the phone and start typing.

He is not different. And when he texts you because of his loneliness, it’s not about him loving you more than a friend.

It’s just that he’s reaching out in the dark, to make contact with another human being. Even if it’s just virtually. And then maybe he gets distracted by something else and stops talking to you.

It can also happen that he feels sad for being alone and after having sent you a message, he stops wanting to talk. Disconnects because of being depressed or anxious.

For these situations, the best thing you can do, if you really want it, be it as a friend or for something else, is not to get angry.

Give it a while and then call him to see how he’s doing. You will see that with this you will surely be able to cheer him up and he will thank you.

9) He wants you on his casual girl list

He wants to put you on his trophy list, where he puts the girls he only has casual sex with.

If you play along with him, then he understands that you’re okay with it.

He thinks that, being a non-committal relationship, he can answer your messages when he wants or when it suits him.

It can happen that he writes to several girls at the same time and the first one he agrees with is the one he stays with. The others, then, do not get an answer and she thinks that they do not have to be offended by this.

So think carefully if you want to have this kind of relationship. Unless this is something you’re comfortable with, it’s best to disappear and avoid responding to his texts.

These kinds of guys often seem charming. They will send you mixed signals, playing games with you and telling you that they just want you to be their friend. But later they will text you saying they want something else.

This can become an exhausting game. So think it through and make sure you want to play, before you start.

10) He is just too bored

This enigmatic boy, who often sends you messages and doesn’t answer, can be terribly bored.

It has your number among many other contacts.

So when you’re feeling bored, you scroll down the list, sending greetings, jokes, and comments to various of these. He just wants to start talking to someone and try some of the people he knows.

He’s trying to make small talk, just to pass the time.

You may just want to talk to people, because you feel like you have nothing better to do.

So, if you’re wondering why he texts me and then doesn’t answer me? This may be a possible reason.

11) It’s just to boost your ego

This guy can be very insecure and likes to boost his ego by talking to you, a pretty and smart girl.

He wants people to know that he’s cool and sexy enough to chat with someone of your caliber.

I guess it’s fair to say you should be flattered.

But I don’t blame you, if it also bothers you that they use you just to gain popularity in a superficial way.

He is not truly interested in you, he just wants to gain self-confidence and is using you as a means to do so.

I don’t blame you if you have mixed feelings about it. It’s best if you don’t answer him and sort out his internal affairs himself.

12) It is unstable

Keep in mind that if he seems to be a bit toxic and psychotic… it could be because that’s exactly what he is.

I’m not saying it’s going to crawl through your window late at night. But he could do things that might not be very pleasant or mortifying.

If a guy says he just wants to be your friend, but all of a sudden he sends you countless and…