Why do we dream of impossible loves?

Sometimes we fall in love with people with whom we can never build a relationship. Impossible loves exist, and most of the people who experience them do not give in to the impossibility: they always keep the hope of being able to tear down the walls of impossibility. Why do we like to stay in this cloud?

Why are some loves impossible?

There are impossible loves that are imprisoned in the prejudices we have:

By age. For example, it occurs mostly in heterosexual couples in which the man is younger than the woman.Due to classism, homophobia, lesbophobia, racism or xenophobia… There are people who see love as impossible due to the rejection that they can suffer in their environment, such as black and white couples, gay couples, couples in which one member is a foreigner, couples in which each one has their own religion …Because of the distance. If one lives in Australia and the other in Costa Rica, if one lives six months at sea and the other on land, if one has a three-year scholarship in China and the other person has a job in Morocco…Due to personal circumstances of one of the members of the couple. If one of the two is married and does not plan to separate, if one belongs to a cloistered religious institution, if a heterosexual man falls in love with a lesbian woman, or a heterosexual woman falls in love with a gay man….When it’s an unrequited love. They are very impossible loves those in which there is no correspondence, that is, when you fall in love with someone who does not fall in love with you, who does not feel the same way about you, and does not want to be with you. And despite that, sometimes they are not considered entirely impossible, because, say the lovers, hope is the last thing that is lost.Because they are really impossible. There are loves that are completely impossible to live in reality, such as those in which death separates the lovers, or those in which the beloved does not know the person who loves him.

Why do we keep dreaming of those loves?

Incredible as it may sound, there are people who prefer to live impossible loves because living love in a platonic way allows us to imagine it to suit each one. Relationships in reality are more difficult than imaginary ones or those that are felt from a distance. First, because inevitably, reality always disappoints us.

In platonic love there are no disappointments. Our expectations about love are so high, we idealize love so much, that when we can live it in our own flesh we become disappointed because it is never how it was sold to us. It does not sprout by itself, it is not eternal, it is not magical: love must be fed and cared for so that it grows.

The lover or the lover lives a bit of the imagination: he idealizes how much he wants the object of his love because he knows that he will not have to see it at its natural size.

Our dream loved ones are perfect. Loving someone from a distance allows us to always have them on the throne because, since we don’t get to know them well, they never disappoint us. Impossible love does not end: being a figment of the imagination, it can last a lifetime, and without deteriorating from living together.

Impossible loves are eternal. Because they are not eaten by routine, coexistence, or boredom, and because being prohibited excites us more than those allowed.Platonic love makes us dream. Impossible loves allow us to travel to a different reality, imagine it to our liking, live the love experience in a parallel universe.Imaginary love is substitute. Impossible loves are, in some way, barriers that we put on ourselves so as not to face reality, so as not to fall in love for real, to live in another time that is not the here and now: it is the imaginary time of the lover or the lover, we have full control over it.

You can have more than one impossible love at the same time because dreams are free, and love is also an experience of freedom.

Impossible loves are with us a lot because they are always there reminding us of what could not have been but at some point could have been, or could become. These impossible loves allow us to fly, they allow us to feel that we are not condemned to the reality of our daily lives, they connect us with the possibilities and opportunities, with those doors that are there and could open one day.

Impossible loves are illusions and we must try not to prevent them from live love with people with whom we can have a relationship, with the people who do correspond to us, with the people of flesh and blood with whom we interact every day, in the here and now.