Why do people cheat on their partners? Research tries to understand

Have you ever been betrayed? Have you ever cheated on someone? If so, did you feel guilty about it? These were some of the questions asked by a survey on extramarital affairs to 1,080 people, all users of the Ashley Madison platform, a site for those looking for a ‘getaway’ from a fixed relationship.

The compilation extracted some very interesting information. For 71% of respondents, for example, what led them to cheat was the boredom they experience within marriage. And many of them do not feel guilty about the attitude: 66% of women and 58% of men are not worried that their spouses will find out about the affair. In fact, 67% say that even if they were caught, they would continue to have an affair.

When it comes to jumping fences, women are more active – at least in the Brazilian version of Ashley Madison. For every man who frequently uses the platform here, 2.55 women are registered (the world average is 1.11 women for every man). Men have an average age of 33 and women 32. Ashley Madison has almost 9 million active users in Brazil and 55 million around the world.

While for women, what matters most is what they gain from their relationship with their lover, for most men, what matters most is enjoying being with other people.

“Most people who cheat say they enjoy having an affair,” says Tammy Nelson, sex and relationship therapist and author of The New Monogamy: Redefining your Relationship after Infidelity🇧🇷

“They may not like the consequences of their infidelity, but they rarely complain about the betrayal itself. It’s easy to blame the spouse, but an affair is not the result of a bad marriage. One affair it is the result of a person purposefully seeking a relationship with someone or something new,” he says.

Below, see some data from the survey:

Events that, according to the adulterers, led them to cheat

• I was bored and wanted to try something new – 71%
• I Caught My Spouse Cheating on Me – 14%
• Had an argument with my spouse- 9%
• I moved to a new city – 6%
• Was traveling for work – 4%
• There was a death in my family/friend group – 2%
• Was on vacation – 1%
• I lost my job – 1%
• Received a promotion at work – 1%
• I had a child – 1%

Why do women keep having an affair?

• I earn more from my lovers than from my spouse – 25%
• Helped me regain my confidence – 25%
• I enjoy being with other people – 21%
• I am having more fun than I have in a long time – 17%
• I am happier now – 8%

Why do men keep having an affair?

• I enjoy being with other people – 38%
• I earn more from cases than from my spouse – 21%
• I am having more fun than I have in a long time – 17%
• Helped me regain my confidence – 11%
• I am happier now – 9%