Why do I feel alone?

“I feel alone”. How many times have we told ourselves this throughout our lives? Surely, on more than one occasion, because this statement with a flavor of regret can arise at any time in our childhood, adolescence or adulthood. However, Feeling alone from time to time is normal, but experiencing this feeling for months or years is not so normal anymore..

Likewise, there is one fact that, to say the least, is striking to us. According to UN data, there are now nearly 7.5 billion people in the world, we are more connected than ever thanks to new technologies and, yet, we feel more alone than ever. Loneliness hurts us like it has never happened before.

This reality is not only suffered on an emotional level through sadness, despair or anguish. Loneliness has a serious impact on health, becoming a true epidemic with high costs.. Thus, we could say that it is time to make one aspect clear: loneliness kills and it does so in very different ways.

Studies, such as the one carried out in the psychology department of the University of Chicago, remind us that This dimension increases the risk of premature deaths. How? Through myocardial infarctions, obesity, addictions and sadly also with suicides. Feeling alone breaks us little by little… until the most absolute helplessness arrives.

Human beings need a quality social connectionwhere the feeling of security, trust, of that constant stimulus prevails where affection, reciprocity and support flow. The absence of this vital right can be devastating.

Why do I feel alone?

Magazine Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology introduces a decisive aspect to the topic of loneliness. One we should all reflect on. Until not long ago, we understood this term in a unidimensional way, that is, a person feels alone when they are isolated, when they do not have a social network to rely on. However, assuming this approach makes us fall into error.

To begin with, loneliness is not always synonymous with isolation. Being alone is not the same as feeling alone; In other words, today we have a large number of people who have a partner, family and friends and yet experience deep and devastating loneliness.

What is going wrong then? Why do I feel alone if sometimes I have a wide network of figures in my immediate environment?

Let’s see below those reasons that feed, configure and explain this very complex feeling today.

personal stagnation

There are moments in our life cycle when we are literally stuck.. Nothing moves forward, nothing that surrounds us is significant to us and what is worse, the horizon does not shine with the sparkle of enthusiasm or motivation.

In the midst of this stagnation, of that suffocating routine, it is common for the mind to fall into a state of introspection and continuous reflection where it is common for the feeling of loneliness to germinate.

When life stops having meaning, you start to create a scab around yourself.. It is as if, gradually, all relationships lose value and significance.

I have family and friends, but the connection is not significant

One of the reasons I feel lonely is because the people around me are not approachable.. What do we mean when we talk about “accessibility”?

I don’t trust my family and I don’t feel supported by them either. The friends I have are only useful for dinner or partying. I can’t share my worries with them, the bond with them is superficial. I don’t have anyone specific with whom to express myself, share hobbies, tastes, confidences…

Emotional loneliness is one of the most common today. More than social loneliness, that is, that in which a person does not have a close support network.

I give everything for others and I feel alone

This fact is very common in caregivers or in those people who are used to carrying a large number of responsibilities on themselves.. When you are aware of others 24 hours a day, there comes a time when your own needs take a backseat.

This fact generates that, sooner or later, the feeling of loneliness arises. The caregiver perceives that they are being left asidethat his environment only sees him as someone who is only there to give, but not to receive.

An adversity not overcome

A loss, an emotional breakup, the weight of a traumatic childhood… There are events for which no one is prepared, painful events that we cannot always overcome and that leave a burden., deep marks and internal cracks that cost a lot to repair. Thus, the fact of not having yet faced that adversity often causes a feeling of constant and distressing loneliness to be experienced.

Affective relationships do not last long, any bond created is unstable, no friendship or partner seems to cover all needs… These wounds from the past are an obstacle to creating and maintaining a stable and secure network of people that we can count on every day..

When loneliness turns into abuse

There is a type of loneliness that deserves our attention and it is that related to the elderly.. Today, this reality is a true epidemic, a social alarm that requires awareness and strategies. In these cases, we have a large number of older adults (mostly women) who live in a situation of isolation and unchosen loneliness.

Sometimes, They have family members, neighbors and social services that are interested in their situation. However, none of this seems sufficient, valid or meaningful to these people. Because the day has many hours in a house where only silence lives. Therefore, we are faced with situations that leave a dent, that accelerate cognitive deterioration and diseases already present in the elderly.

In this context, it is necessary to establish other more active mechanisms to address the isolation of older people. Our society is moving towards a society where life expectancy is increasing. and, therefore, new intervention and care strategies must be generated.

To conclude, loneliness not chosen and felt as painful is one of the greatest enemies of our time. Something like this demands not only greater sensitivity, but also requires concrete emergency actions. Loneliness is synonymous with social exclusion and this can appear at any age, having, as we already know, serious consequences..

Let’s act, let’s be more sensitive, let’s ask for help if we need it…

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