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How do you know what you want in life?

Your needs change. What you expect from life is not the same as it was ten, two or a year ago. And that’s fine. Because circumstances are not always the same and we all have the right to expect other things, to desire other dreams.

How do you know what you want in life? This question is not only common when one is 15 or 20 years old. It is legal and understandable to continue raising it when we are over 30 and even when we have crossed the threshold of 50. Regardless of what we have been led to believe, no one is immature for questioning whether they are taking the right course in their existence or if they should do so. change.

After all, as Albert Einstein said, Nothing is as important as not stopping asking questions. In such a variable world and in a present so full of challenges, it is correct and even necessary to reflect on ourselves and continue thinking about what we expect from ourselves and even from the immediate future.

For their part, with respect to those who have everything clear, for those who live in a mental scenario of absolute certainties, it does not hurt to give themselves a moment of small introspection. Am I really where I want to be? Do I feel fulfilled or is there something I’m missing? Investigating these simple questions can reveal realities that have been neglected until now.

Being able to give ourselves what we need is to invest in what we deserve. And we all deserve something that is much more important than happiness: being good with ourselves.. Loving the people we are here and now and achieving that inner calm in which nothing is excess and nothing is missing.

How do you know what you want in life? Keys and strategies

Sometimes, we are at a point in our existence where we are aware that something is missing. It’s more than just the classic feeling of emptiness; It is basically dissatisfaction. It doesn’t matter that we have a good job and even a stable partner. There is something that goes out of tune and that penetrates our interior. You are aware that you need some kind of change, but you don’t know what.

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It may be that in these situations we consult with someone and that someone will give us the million dollar advice. To know what change you are going to make, you have to know what you want in life.. And we insist, these existential ups and downs occur at any age and if we ask ourselves the reason, there is an undoubted fact that we are clear about from the field of psychology: people change and with each change new needs arise.

Studies such as the one carried out at the University of Illinois (Chicago) by Dr. Maik Luhmann and his team address a topic related to this issue. Does personality change over time? Yes that’s how it is… What motivates it, life circumstances or is it our own development throughout the life cycle?

Right now, we know that human personality is not stable. And, indeed, we all change, new needs, new dreams and even priorities appear. And no, it is not necessary that a determining life event has happened to us. Let’s say that, from time to time, we must update goals and objectives.

These would be some keys to knowing what you want in life.

Put aside the “shoulds” to focus on the “needs”

If someone opened their brain like a drawer, what they would find inside would be worries, fears, and a great abundance of “I have to’s and I should’s.” We are determined by the external pressures and expectations of our environment. We are so aware of what is outside of us that we have forgotten what our inside needs.

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It’s time to reveal pressures, anxieties, obligations… Let’s ask ourselves what needs we have here and now.

How do you want to see yourself in three years?

You know what you have now, what defines you, what you do and what surrounds you. Let’s look at a relatively near horizon: three years from now.

As you look? Is the person you are visualizing the one you want to be?What should that future self be doing so that he would feel fulfilled with himself? Where would he be? What would you spend your time on? Now think… should you make any changes from now on to become that future person?

To know what you want in life, clarify your values ​​from time to time

If you want to know what you want in life, it’s time to update your values. We say update because, sometimes, we take for granted that what we liked or defined us ten years ago is still the same. However, we must be clear: people change and so can our scale of values.

Until not long ago, you may have been defined by justice, family, or compassion. Now, you may identify more with independence, culture, nature… It’s time to reflect on what inspires your mind and what your heart is now tuned to.

What would you do if you didn’t have fear or conditions limiting your reality?

What would you do if you had other conditions now (if you were younger, if you had less fear, less insecurities…)? Most likely, you will come up with endless ideas, projects, new paths that you would undoubtedly start. Believe it or not, there are middle ground in which you can place your perspective and your expectations.

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At this point, you may not be able to leave everything and go live in Australia or a Polynesian island to open a small business. However, There are always middle paths, adventures that do fall within the conceivable and that can act as real triggers for happiness. You just need to clarify them and turn off the presence of fears to start the engine of illusions.

But knowing what you want in life requires fearlessly connecting with our needs every so often. Then, all that remains is to add the best ingredient of all: courage.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Luhmann, M., Orth, U., Specht, J., Kandler, C., & Lucas, R.E. (2014). Studying Changes in Life Circumstances and Personality: It’s About Time. European Journal of Personality, 28(3), 256–266. https://doi.org/10.1002/per.1951

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