Why can ingratitude destroy a relationship?

The concept of reciprocity is fundamental to maintaining a relationship. When we feel that we like the other one more than the other one of us, or the other way around, the relationship can become unbalanced. But this concept does not apply only to the field of feelings, it is necessary for the couple to be in tune, too, with regard to the attitudes of one towards the other.

In a loving relationship, it is necessary for each partner to feel that their qualities are recognized by the other, as well as their effort to alleviate their personal defects. Ingratitude, for a couple, can mean the beginning of a serious crisis in the relationship, as it undermines the pillars on which the relationship is built.

Not being grateful for the things received – whether affection, money or dedication, in addition to showing ingratitude, can convey the feeling of lack of education and respect for the partner. In turn, the other person tends to stop taking certain actions due to lack of recognition. In this way, the relationship enters a vicious cycle whose consequences are disastrous for the affinity and mutual consideration that should exist between the couple.

If you feel that your partner doesn’t show gratitude for the things you do for them, consider talking it over with them, to prevent the problem from getting worse over time. But, if you realize that the lack of reciprocity comes from you, some attitudes can help you to treat your love better.

Evaluate your attitudes

Stop to reflect on your reaction to the good things your partner does for you. When he does you a favor or even when he takes action to favor you in some way, how do you face it? If you see this type of situation as something normal or as if it were an obligation on your partner, be aware: you may not know how to thank you properly.

learn to thank

“Thank you” – the word is simple, but for people who are not used to it, using it may not be that easy. There is only one way to learn: practice. Start to appreciate what others do for you, even if it’s the most basic thing in the world and even if they’re not doing more than their obligation, in fact.

A practical example is with waiters, salespeople and other professionals we meet on a daily basis. Of course, a salesperson is being paid to serve you, but it doesn’t hurt to be grateful for the way you’re treated. It is a sign of good manners and creates empathy between you and other people.

In relationships it works the same way. When your boyfriend or husband opens the car door, when he lets you choose the movie you are going to see at the cinema or when he pays the restaurant bill, he is not doing it out of obligation, but because of the affection and consideration he has for you. Therefore, he learns to give thanks. In addition to being simple, it costs nothing and can improve your relationship considerably.