Why are we seduced and attracted to strangers?

Feeling attracted to someone very different or mysterious is normal, but it is subject to very specific conditions that have to coincide with each other.

The exotic, what is out of the norm and surrounded by mystery, that is what attracts the most attention. According to this statement, we could glimpse the reason why we are seduced and attracted by strangers and not people we know more thoroughly. However, the matter is not as simple as it seems.

This issue has been reflected in popular culture for hundreds of years through myths, stories and general culture. Here you will find a review of all this from the point of view of psychology. Don’t miss anything.

Brief history of the attraction between mermaid and man

Men always fall in love with mermaids, mythological beings that cannot exist. The siren existed and swam against the current of logic. But she swam against the current and fell in love with him. Everyone fell in love with her, but she only fell in love with him.

“What did I have?” he asked himself, and couldn’t find an answer. She only sighed. And he, then he saw her, she was swimming against the current. It was love at first sight, those loves that troubadours remember.

Two people who live in different environments are complete strangers to each other. And yet, they attract each other. What sense does this have? Why not fall in love with those who live around you and know you?

Mechanisms of attraction

Attraction, biologically speaking, is a set of chemical reactions that awaken feelings of bond and impulses of reproduction. However, in the field of psychology, there is still debate about what factors precipitate this cascade of hormones. So far certain necessary conditions have been isolated:

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Optimal timing: that the person appears at a time in which the subject is open to mating.Context: It is common to fall in love with people who are close to us and who live around us.Mystery: Curiously, it has been shown that we are much more attracted to people we do not fully know.Personality: Here cultural, intellectual and personal factors are mixed.Physical appearance: The influence of the image is undeniable. Attractive people receive favored treatment, even if it is unconsciously.

Why are we seduced and attracted to strangers?

Mysterious people are attractive and interesting to us because we associate that mystery with novelty. Encountering a novel stimulus causes the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that is involved in the search for strong emotions, emotional regulation and social relationships.

When we feel attracted to someone strange, most of the attraction that is generated is due to the sexual impulse.. On the other hand, with the people around us and those who most closely match our identity we find more intimacy and security.

As for the physique, what usually attracts is that the other person is well proportioned. Symmetrical face shapes are more attractive to us. The beauty regulations imposed on cis women are closely related to the proportions between chest, waist and hips, to give another example.

Not everything is the mystery

Even with this striking tendency to be attracted to mysterious people, the truth is that when it comes to creating stable bonds, people usually prefer the predictable and the known. This makes sense, since it is easier and safer to stay next to someone consistent and already defined.

In the end, it is companion love that is most often associated with long-term, monogamous relationships.

For this reason, the attraction to the unknown is usually limited to the realm of the passionate and sexual, because when the mystery is solved, interest is lost. Therefore, don’t worry if you have fallen in love with someone predictable and normal: if what you want is to find a stable partner, it is easier that way.

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