Why are there so many gossipy people?

Gossip people do not only exist in small towns, nor are they the typical housewives who exchange gossip in an interior patio. The environment does not predispose us to be aware of what happens in the lives of others, nor to criticize or spread private and intimate information about the people around us.

The technique of gossip has become modernized and widespread. Currently, it is installed in our daily lives and is a very present practice in almost all types of societies. But why do so many people use it? What makes it so widespread?

Language and uncertainty

For some authors, This transmission of gossip began its journey with the beginning of human language. In some way, the exchange of gossip allowed its development and the emergence of large modern societies.

The stories that they told about each other served to inform about their social status, the roles they occupied in the group or the prevailing social norms. They even helped some when it came to achieving their goals, such as finding a partner or knowing the mood and misfortunes of another.

At a deeper level, The basic psychological need underlying gossip is the need to eliminate uncertainty. When we sense that we do not have information that we consider relevant, we feel bad, incomplete, nervous.

Our response is to immediately try to restore our cognitive balance. As? Getting that data. The same thing would happen with gossip.

Our motivation is to know something about another person that interests us a lot and that we don’t know about. For that, We are extracting, misleading, asking, harassing. In this practice, the end justifies the means. It seems that anything goes.

What are gossipy people like and how do they consider themselves?

Living in certain places and conditions does not justify gossiping, criticizing, harming or spreading false messages that can damage people’s reputations. Therefore, those who are victims of their comments often raise a series of questions about them: they are bored? Don’t they have life? Will they want to hurt me?

In general, gossipy people They usually have a very limited inner world. Therefore, their conversations mainly refer to external aspects. In fact, the world around us is often a reflection of our inner self. The more enriched it is, the more our environment will be.

Gossip people have lives, like everyone else! But they prefer to escape from their own problems, don’t think about them and worry more about the rest. It’s your defense mechanism. What they don’t know is that it makes them waste time that they could be investing in themselves.

One of the most curious things is that They rarely acknowledge that they are. Gossip people do not have that regard for themselves. In fact, they are convinced of the opposite.

It is useful? Well? Harmful?

Generally, we associate the concept of gossip with superfluous or little relevant information for practical purposes. And sometimes it is indeed like that. For example, the one we get from famous people whom we only know from television shows and pink sauce.

But, other times, gossiping is useful from an individual point of view. Asking too many questions can help you obtain valuable information to generate new opportunities and make your way. However, this behavior, in addition to being labeled as opportunistic, may not give you a good reputation.

On the other hand, when it comes to establishing polarities, Psychology opts for moderation. More than good, it is convenient to show interest in the people you care about. Being curious is not getting into their life or gossiping about it with third parties, but knowing how to ask and listen. Prudence and respect, above all.

If, on the other hand, you are constantly harassing them, probing into their affairs and getting into their lives (and their homes), they will end up rejecting your excessive “interest.”

How to act when someone wants to gossip with you?

If you suspect that a person is a gossip, the first thing you should do is observe. Next, you can ask yourself two questions: why are you telling me this? Why are you telling me this? And even, if you think it’s appropriate, ask them to that person. Depending on their response, you can already get an idea of ​​whether or not you can and should take their words seriously.

Normally, if they don’t go with us, we don’t take this gossip into consideration. But keep in mind that sometimes it may be your turn. That’s why, The best thing you can do to prevent it from becoming something very harmful to a third party is not to pass it on to anyone else. The gossip stays with you.

On the other hand, if someone harasses you with their questions, it is preferable that you communicate your discomfort or simply stop the conversation. Any excuse can be good to get rid of gossipy people. Your freedom and privacy are at stake, so protect yourself!

Does knowing so many things about others make them trustworthy?

Absolutely not. Trust is earned through discretion and understanding; It is not a function of the information you have about others. If someone tells you a secret that another has confessed to them, can you trust that person with your confidences? Why should he keep it to you, if he doesn’t do it with others? Can you blindly trust her?

But not only do they tell it to the four winds, but also, these people tend to add spices to your story. That is to say, They lie or at least tell half-truths that make their story more incredible and interesting.

We all at some point become informants in other people’s lives. The problem is doing it compulsively and constantly, without shame or respect for others. If you think you may be being too curious, try taking more time for yourself. Live your life! Not that of the rest.

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