Why are there people who run away from problems? A psychological explanation

You could say that all people run from something. In fact, flight is a universal response to what causes fear or conflict. Any kind of flight defends us of something that is too painful, too arduous, or causes excessive fear. In many cases fleeing is necessary and even healthy. Finding ways to distance yourself from the situation, for example, is a good formula. so as not to get too caught up in suffering.

However, there are many people who run away from problems in a more obvious way. These people quite visibly avoid certain situations: somehow evading reality, preferring to forget, rejecting or denying certain aspects of his life… Why happens? There is a psychological explanation for this type of reaction.

5 psychological reasons why we run away from problems

There are ways to run before the dangers that imply movement, and other more static, in which the distance is placed internally. Fleeing is a quick and effective way to escape from a situation which personally results difficult. It is a resource that we share with the rest of the animals.

Faced with danger or a feeling of threat, we instinctively respond with a series of physiological changes that prepare us for fight or flight.. These are reactions whose primary objective is to preserve one’s own integrity.

However, fleeing immediately alleviates what one fears to face, but it is a way out, not always a solution. The experience, the memory, the situation from which you have fled often remains unresolvedsomehow governing our reactions.

We suggest spending a few minutes thinking about what we are running from, what we don’t want to see or what makes us feel trapped and want to run away. Only oneself can discover it and recognize where it tries to find its refuge. We can investigate in five large areas.

1. To avoid emotional pain

All our actions could be understood as a response to avoid pain. We seek pleasure, well-being, even as a survival drive. But we know that pain is an inevitable ingredient in our life.

We find it in various forms, whether as physical or emotional pain, and before him we feel disarmed.

It is common to look for shortcuts that quickly move us away from painas ways to shorten or avoid our encounter with him.

One possibility is to try close yourself to everything that generates sufferinganother Cbuild a shell to defend us and numb us and another to cover up the pain in some way.

When a person is excessively dependent on something and seeks it anxiously, as in an addiction, is using that object or that behavior to cover something that is difficult for you to tolerate.

Just figuring out what it is you’re trying to get around and by going through that frustration you can get rid of the compulsive need.

Pain makes us feel vulnerable and fragile, but only if we learn to tolerate it can we dilute it. The other alternatives may provide temporary relief, but they are likely to perpetuate or intensify suffering.

By putting ourselves in front of emotional pain we will see that it changes and oscillates, and that we are more capable of bearing it than we thought. While If we avoid feeling it, we will also become more insensitive to pleasure.joy and satisfaction.

2. To forget things from the past

Freud discovered that when we are unable to tolerate certain memories we bury them very deep in oblivion, but even there, from the unconscious, they can rule our lives like a hidden force.

Forgetting, therefore, can be a form of escape, as it is also cornering as if they were not one’s own the experiences that are remembered as dark or traumatic. Our family, the place where we were born and raised, is also part of our past.

Sometimes the ambivalence between feelings of love and hate, between the need to belong and to be different, can be cause for conflict. Some people choose to run away and disown their family. Although they boast of their independence and self-sufficiency, neither separation nor independence is real.

Everything that continues to produce anger or painwhich keeps away from the family, does not allow to reconcile with the past and build a present free of that weight.

The past is our baggage and although it contains memories that we dislike, we always carry it with us. Trying to run away from it is like living uprooted, without a firm foundation. that offers support and stability.

Recognize, instead, those roots and digesting difficult memories is a basic element of getting to know yourself betterand to find the thread that is woven between the past and the present, there lies precisely the meaning of each life.

3. To escape from what is unpleasant

We continually come across situations, people, attitudes or even aspects of our own that make us uncomfortable and irritate us.

If we had a magic wand in those moments, we would surely make them disappear completely, and this is precisely what we do when declinewell It is a way of eliminating and closing off what you dislike.

We know the pain of not feeling accepted, and yet we easily reject others. The tendency to judge rather than truly understand the other It is one of the biggest barriers one encounters when relating.

Many times you have to face injustice, frustration, illness, failure… Unpleasant circumstances with which a person often struggles by asking: “Why me?”

On the other hand, there is always some defect or some aspect of our own character that bothers us, or perhaps we feel sad, angry… We want to run away from all that and change it. Everything that displeases speaks especially of oneself.

When something is labeled as negative or positive, it is not that it is in itself, but that the person interprets it in this way, The challenge is to open your mind and try to go a little beyond our limits..

From that more open attitude, from acceptance, it is possible to perceive things more clearly, without hooking or fighting, and let them pass. Often what annoys the most is what can teach us the most.

4. To avoid what scares us

When fear appears, the least thing you want at that moment is to stay there And face what is scary.

If it is a real danger this flight makes sensebut many times the fear is not born from an authentic threat, but from the imagination.

Happens when possible dangers are anticipated, when one does not feel capable of facing challenges, or when coming into contact with the unknown, changes, uncertainty… Every time we withdraw, fear advances and gains ground,

All disorders that start from fear (anxiety, phobias, panic attacks, obsessions, hypochondria, post-traumatic stress…) They are established when using resources to flee or control what causes fear.

Fear makes us feel terribly insecure, and this causes us to seek that sense of lost security compulsively.

When we find ourselves in front of a fear we can avoid it or face it. If we decide to flee, we will achieve immediate peace of mind, but we may miss an opportunity and that our feeling of inadequacy is greater.

The real solution is to become familiar with that fear, to get closer to see what it looks like. Thus, Recognizing it as a fear, its power will fade.

Actually, security is achieved by going to more insecure placesthere where our restlessness is awakened, Thus, the fear faced can end up becoming strength.

5. To evade responsibility

Fleeing leads to a loss of awareness of the situation, given that in one way or another we distance ourselves and stop keeping it in mind. Therefore, it also implies avoiding responsibility.

Avoid means that We do not take charge of something that is part of our life, we prefer to leave it to its fate.

When you have a problem, you often blame the situation or hold others responsible. This victimizing attitude allows one to unload the weight of responsibility, but it also limits the capacity for action.

If the cause of one’s own problems is outside, it is difficult for oneself to feel capable of getting out of the situation.

The disease could sometimes be understood as an escapewhen what cannot be expressed and resolved directly manifests itself through the body or the psyche in the form of symptoms.

It’s a unconscious mechanismbut reveals the ambivalence inherent in the disease, which carries both suffering and side benefitswhich are sometimes difficult to give up.

The depression It is the disorder that best defines this escape from responsibility. The person needs to get off their usual pace of life feeling overwhelmed by their conflicts, but having fewer commitments increases their sense of inadequacy, which creates a vicious circle.

Recover the commitment with what is happening to us It doesn’t mean blaming yourself. It means that one youoma party to improve what is within your reach.

This deep sense of responsibilityalthough it carries an added weight on the shoulders, it is what can make one feel master of their own destiny and not a mere object at the mercy of circumstances.

Quick personality test: what are you running from?

inquire into oneself It can be annoying or embarrassing, because you begin to see things that you preferred to deny. However, promotes mental health.

Are questions can serve as guide to understand one’s own tendency to flee:

How do I run away? How do I try to take refuge? What media do I use?What am I trying to run from? What are the things that I find difficult to tolerate, remember, face, accept, assume?What are my defense mechanisms? Some of them are: Suppress. Exclude painful or conflicting thoughts, memories, or feelings from awareness.Deny. Not recognizing a reality.Evasion. Through continuous activity, putting emotional distance or excessively depending on something or someone.Make up for. When failure or frustration in one area leads to overemphasis in another.Check. An excessive attempt to control, regulate and manipulate so that sources of concern do not arise.Decline. Not accept.Avoid. Stop doing things for fear of facing them.What can I gain if I decide not to run away? It may be the key to reversing the process.

How to face problems without running away (in 6 steps)

Often, what is tried to be avoided at all costs ends up being found.as if in flight they had turned around the Earth to return to the starting point. Postponing or avoiding a conflict can cause the problem to grow and become bigger and bigger.. That is why whoever prefers to silence her pain so as not to feel it ends up prolonging her suffering, and whoever represses her emotions excessively You may end up experiencing what you fear the most: unpleasant moments of lack of control.

Actually, what we want to flee from is what makes us more slavessince these are obscure points that we prefer not to touch, and that, therefore, they limit us. Every time we get close to one of these points our alarm and an impulse to flee are awakened. The more we want to run away, the more tied we are. Is…