Whoever angers you, dominates you

“Whoever angers you, dominates you”… Think about it carefully, or is it not true? When something hasn’t happened the way we wanted or someone hasn’t responded the way we expected, When we have been bothered by a person’s behavior or what they have said to us, we usually express what we feel with expressions like “you made me angry”, “You hurt me“, “You have pissed me off…”

If we stop to reflect on it and decide to go deeper, the translation of our messages becomes something like “you are to blame for how I feel”“you are responsible for me being like this” either “you have harmed me“, that is, I am bad because of you.

Don’t give power over yourself to others

If someone makes us angry it is because we have given them permission to do so, Well, in reality, when someone makes us angry, what internally resonates within us is “What you think about me is more important than what I think about myself.”. Think about it.

In these cases, We direct the responsibility for how we feel towards others, that is, outwards. So depending on others, this is how we will find ourselves.

It turns out that Instead of taking charge of our emotions and feelings, turning inward and taking responsibility for what we feel, we give power or consent to others. Because no one makes you angry without your consent, right?

And it is true, that assuming all the weight that comes with anger or discomfort is something complicated and it costs… and more so if we are used to putting our focus outside. It is still easier to blame our partner and have him try to deal with our anger than ourselves… but this way we will never be able to connect with our interior.

If we do not accept the gift, it will still belong to the other person

Sometimes, blaming others for how we feel happens because we are motivated by our ego, which, in summary, consists of identifying with what we have, what we do and how we are valued.

Once we have moved away from the ego and put it aside, we begin to take more responsibility both our thoughts and behaviors, as well as our emotions, and no one can harm us; because we consider that what we are is far beyond material goods, our actions or the opinion of others.

For this we can help ourselves by thinking that When someone insults us or does something we don’t like, it is as if they were offering us a gift. If we do not accept it, the gift will remain the person’s, while if we accept it we will collect it. Ultimately, the decision will be ours.

Thus, the insults, The provocations or even the actions of others are like those gifts, which we choose whether to accept or not.; Therefore, we cannot blame anyone for our decision, we can only take responsibility for our attitude, for our choice.

We cannot change others, but we can change our attitude.

We need to keep in mind that The clash of the expectations we have formed with reality can also be a trigger for our annoyance.because things have not happened as we imagined.

We cannot control circumstances or people, but we can control our response. So we can’t change what someone says about us or what they do that bothers us, but of course we can change the attitude with which we face life.

Responsibility is scary, but it is what allows us to be masters of our lives. Recognizing our emotions and feelings and taking charge of them gives us the freedom to know ourselves and choose our attitude towards life.