Who I am

Who I am? Believe it or not, this is one of the most relevant questions that every person asks themselves (and it is good that they do so) at some point in their life. It should be said, however, that the answer is never easy, because it involves revealing one’s being, emotionally stripping oneself and removing endless onion layers, resistances and shells to reach that private territory, where we reside authentically.

In that search to find ourselves, we often miscalibrate our compass. There are people who constantly seek the approval of others to have a point of reference, or a false sense of security. Like that friend who goes shopping with someone and continually asks: Which of the two items of clothing do you like the most? And in the end, the wardrobe of the person who is going to buy is less similar to her real tastes than to those of the person accompanying her.

Let’s admit it, defining our identity is a challenge that can last a lifetime. However, far from traveling eternally in favor of this search to clarify who we are, It would be better to ask ourselves another simple question: what do I want for myself? …

Own identity and other people’s identities

When one begins a degree in psychology, it is common for the topic of human identity to be among the first subjects. This concept, this idea, was developed by Erik Erikson. This psychoanalyst, expert in developmental psychology, He defined identity as that basic pillar that every adolescent must clarify to embark on a safer and happier maturity.

Now, reality tells us that many of us reach adulthood dragging the same question… who I am? Thus, and according to a curious study published by the University of Psychiatry and Medicine of the University of California in the journal Journal of Research Practice, It seems that in each of us there live several “selves”, diverse identities that are not clarified and that we have a hard time defining. For example, there would be that social “I” that seeks to fit into all its environments. There would in turn be that most intimate “I”, with its own needs, anxieties and drives, and finally there would be that ideal “I”, that side that would aspire to be in such a way, to achieve certain things, to aspire to certain goals. and objectives.

On the other hand, a more than evident aspect is how little it costs us to explain what others are like. Defining the defects and virtues of others is a task that does not require any effort for many people. Thus, when they are asked What is she or he like? They begin to speak fluently and confidently, giving real examples that accompany each adjective they project.

Instead, If you ask those same people to define themselves, they suffer a paradoxical and strange silence. And it is something much more common than we may think. Why is it like this? Why don’t we know how to answer a simple “who am I”?

The answer to this question is quite simple. Human beings are much more accustomed to using stable judgment values ​​with others. than with himself. It is very difficult to no longer think about how we are, but to be objective with ourselves.

Secondly, by living with us all day we have examples of actions that can be contradictory, we are more aware of our evolution and we do not like to pigeonhole ourselves into an adjective. We understand that we are much more complex than any word or group of words, and that is why it is so difficult to define ourselves..

Not knowing who I am: an existential crisis?

Face the question Who I am? and Not knowing the answer can generate anxiety, discomfort and fear in some people.; to the point that these emotions end up controlling them.

In these cases, it is likely that we are facing an existential crisis, which must be addressed appropriately. If we do not want to suffer its exhausting effects. The solution? Reconnect with yourself, leaving our fears behind and accepting everything we are discovering about our being and essence.

With this we do not mean that all those who do not know how to answer the question are going through an existential crisis, far from it. Just make the reservation that this question can be a source of deep discomfort for some and that, in these cases, it must be appropriately addressed. In fact, A therapist can be of great help in finding ourselves.

Who I am? The answer is simpler than you think

Who I am? Am I who is reflected in the mirror? Am I what I think? Am I what has happened to me or what I would like to aspire to in the future? All these questions are valid to define ourselves. Because in reality, one’s identity is a puzzle of hundreds of pieces where everything must fit: We are what we have already experienced and what we desire, we are a body, but also our emotions, thoughts, values ​​and desires.

Therefore, to aspire to that firm, brave and determined identity, what we need is to find internal harmony between all those interior pieces. We need stability, acceptance, self-love and inner strength and a touch of hope. Because n Our identity must be seen as a continuous process. It is not an instantaneous and static image but a state that is constantly growing, and hence, hope and optimism should never be lacking to give shape to a brighter identity, capable of achieving its goals.

Thus, and to think about it, it would be positive that from time to time you save some time to have a date with yourself. In this way, you will be able to reflect on who you have been, who you are and who you are becoming. So that again, and from time to time, you ask yourself that question that you fear so much. “Who I am?”.

These moments of introspection, of reflection in solitude, will help you get to know yourself, to discover your own truth. Only if you ask yourself “who am I” will you find the answers within yourself. Answers that at some point you expected other people to give you, but that it is really you who must discover.

Now, this process is somewhat more complicated than the act of asking ourselves a question. You have to know yourself, do it in depth and in a completely sincere way. To do this, there is nothing better than starting to do what gives you satisfaction, such as reading, walking or going to the beach. Actions for which loneliness is not only not an impediment, but can be an advantage.

Of course, You can also ask for opinion or advice. The image that others have of you can give you some very interesting clues and help you discover your true self. However, you have to be careful because what others think about you does not always define you.

Finally and to conclude, you must remember something very important: you have the ability to choose what is best for you when you know yourself. Once you know who you are, it is easier to define what you want, and you will increase the chances that your decisions will be more successful.

The true journey towards knowledge is self-knowledge. You can know a lot about the world around you, but you will need to frame it in the logical, formal and rational context that makes up your own identity. Are you now prepared to answer the question “who I am“?

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