Love and couples

The choice of that word to mean the union of two people (of the same or different sex) seems not to be the most appropriate. That’s right, because a couple, as its name indicates, must be equal or go in the same direction. We can apply it in other areas, such as the legs of pants, or the paintings on a wall.

By further analyzing the word “couple”, we can understand that it is about “parity”. It is then a relationship of peers, where similarity or equality will prevail, which for many, is thousands of miles away from the definition of “love.”

In cinema, literature, music, poems and life itself, we are usually in the presence of two fundamental or frequent aspects in the love bond. The first is referred to falling in love and the second to disappointment.

What is the role that has been given to love in this double entry game? Of course, the second will not occur in all cases, which is why it attracts more attention than the falling in love stage.

This is clear to understand, basically because when contact with that person we like begins, we interact in such a way that we do everything possible to please them and make them like them. In this initial stage, we idealize who we have in front of us, We usually say phrases like “he can’t be so perfect”, “this is the person I always dreamed of”, etc.

We overestimate and overvalue others, we put them on a pedestal or in a very high place. That’s when the illusion begins to occur. This is reflected in promises, “I will love you for all eternity.” More or less the same thing always happens in a “couple” relationship, but The problem lies precisely in the fact that we are not as equal as we would like.. Because? Because many times we stop thinking about ourselves or we blend in so much with others that we don’t know what our decision or point of view was.

So, the term “couple” is in the collective imagination, in the thought of the ideal, in the fantasy of experiencing a fairy tale. It is said that the better half has been found and that we are now complete, that the two beings form a single essence, soul or entity (whatever you wish to call it).

This fusion, so common during the first months of the relationship, can at some point break. And it is even healthy for that to happen, for the good of both. Being different in certain aspects is healthy and, at the same time, more fun.

When we encounter other people’s differences, we can act in different ways. In most cases we do not see it as something positive for the relationship, but as the cause of fights, anguish or disappointment. Taking someone down from that pedestal is painful, of course, but it is also necessary.

The place of love is then once the first stage has been overcome. If after the first year of the relationship (or perhaps more), you have already learned of your boyfriend or wife’s defects, then you can begin to live the relationship in a more “couple” way. Be careful, the other person must also begin to recognize your shortcomings. In both cases, they must learn to accept and live with these not so desirable characteristics, as long as they are not detrimental to the relationship.

So, There is nothing “even” about a couple.. The fact of being together all the time or for many years should not mimic them or merge them in such a way that there is nothing new. This undoubtedly wears out, tires, bores and separates. The disagreement or “love is over” may be related to this theme.

Loving means knowing that we are all different and that it is not necessary to be alike in order to get along. And this not only applies to marital relationships, but also to friends, family, colleagues and even people who do not share our views.