White, compulsive or pathological lies: what are yours like?

Do you know the difference between white, compulsive or pathological lies? Why do we justify some and condemn the others? Discovering the liar within us tells us a lot about ourselves.

Few things sow distrust as much as lies. If you ask others, they will tell you that no one wants to be or enjoys the company of a liar. Although the truth is that on the social level We have some justified lies, we know them as white lies and all people use them to some extent.

A study conducted by the University of Massachusetts found that 60% of adults cannot have a conversation of more than ten minutes without telling a lie. That is if they know each other before, because otherwise, if it is the first time they speak, the average amounts to three lies during the first ten minutes.

It seems that one of the most uncomfortable truths is that human beings lie almost from birth.. This study was carried out prior to the creation of social networks. Facebook and Twitter have probably multiplied this data since they provide a framework in which the opportunities for telling lies are greater and much more widespread.

Although many will blame digital media as responsible for the lies spread in them, the truth is that they have simply amplified the human willingness to tell lies. Psychologist Paul Ekman, an expert in the study of facial expressions, already warned us that lying is one of the central characteristics of life.

The white lies

Almost from the moment children learn to speak, they begin to use words to deceive. It begins with the simplest lies that develop between the ages of two and three, to reach three or four years old and be able to create much more sophisticated lies. In developmental psychology this, although it may seem like a contradiction, is considered a sign of social intelligence.

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Children, and many adults, naturally handle white lies, considered as mere harmless instructions intended to safeguard one’s own and others’ feelings. Let’s say that they could be considered as the lubricant that smoothes the gears that make society work.

Truths and lies

It seems that, as humans, we do not differentiate ourselves by telling truths or lies. It would be the degree and type of lies we tell that would really differentiate us from each other. From “I’m fine”… when in reality we feel terrible, making up an excuse for being late to the cruelest and most self-serving lie.we have a whole spectrum of degrees and types of lies.

It seems that The need to fit into the expectations of others is what drives human beings to lie.. Furthermore, we live, grow and educate in a pure contradiction. Children are told not to lie, while we insist that they pretend to be happy about a birthday gift from their grandmother, even if they don’t like it.

Our society could collapse if we couldn’t trust the people around us not to lie, but probably Society would not survive if we always told the truth.

Compulsive lies

There are people who, beyond the use of white lies, decorate their lives with an endless series of anecdotes, facts or invented or falsified stories in some way and that do not correspond to reality.

They are people who have become addicted to their own fantastic stories because they suffer from deep insecurity. Generally the only ones hurt by these types of lies are themselves. These are compulsive liars.

Pathological lies

This type of liar is beginning to be considered a breed apart. Cold and calculating, their lies contain specific objectives and interests, usually selfish. They are manipulative and cunning lies. These types of lies, unlike white lies, are used by people who base their lives on them, their deceptions negatively affect others. and cause deep damage to their victims.

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Through some studies today we know that Pathological liars have more white matter in the prefrontal area of the brain. Generally speaking, white matter is linked to faster connections, greater flow of thought, and greater verbal fluency. In addition, they have empathy difficulties and little activity in the areas responsible for emotions.

Nobody feels good lying, at least most of us don’t like lying. We use white lies to protect ourselves or others. Or that’s what we all want to believe. In the end, Above dogmas or maxims, each one is obliged to face an internal debate regarding the truth, opting for a position that will be sensitive to the circumstances.