Friends with benefits or lovers without duties?

Friends with benefits? An advertisement recently circulated on the Internet promoting an unusual product: perfumes based on pheromones. The ad indicated that it was 100% effective. “Members of the opposite sex will be crazy about you,” they promised, and then there was a detailed “scientific” description of why no one could resist the powerful effects of the magical aroma.

It seems that The idea that love has more to do with biochemistry than with the world of the symbolic becomes popular.. He also advocates the principle that the basic problem to be solved in love is to make the other person be seduced, subjugated or enchanted by us. Furthermore, a certain fantasy of “catching” with our charms, not one, but many members of the opposite sex, is revealed.

At the moment, a contradictory desire seems to make its way around love: having many successive partners that feed our ego, our need for experimentation or our loneliness; and, at the same time, leave a special place so that at any moment an extraordinary being, “the love of life,” can occupy it.

Friends with temporary benefits

In this scenario, friends with benefits come in handy. For the few who don’t know what it is about, This is the name given to those people of the opposite sex with whom a friendship is maintained in which there is occasional sex.. The key is that both understand that having sex does not stop them from being friends, nor should they exclude sex from the relationship just because they are friends.

Agreements between friends “with benefits” have implicit rules that both must comply with for the “thing” to work. Among friends “with benefits” there is a basic pact not to “fall in love.”. Neither one nor the other wants to deal with commitments and that is why sex has its most basic function: satisfying a purely physical desire.

Another rule that both must comply with, and on which compliance with “not falling in love” depends, is not to become intimate and not intervene in any way in the other’s life. I mean, “rights” have a very precise limit. They are rights to touch, as well as to look, but they do not reach the point of allowing “the friend” to claim time, attention or understanding.

Each of the friends with benefits can have any type of relationship with another person. Under no circumstances should you feel jealous, nor question the fact that the other ends the relationship unilaterally, whenever they please.

Friends with benefits or lovers without duties?

To the disappointment of friends with benefits fans and pheromone perfume producers, The human brain is an extremely complex organ in which there can be no dissociation between the body and affects or emotions.. Occupying the top of the pyramid on the evolutionary scale has its consequences, among them, the impossibility of living a reality and not symbolizing it in the subjective realm.

It is impossible for a human being to have sex with another person and not associate that experience with what they are, have been and will be. There is no way that the other in that sexual relationship becomes the representation of a piece of meat which is easy to get rid of once the act is completed.

Something always leaves that other. An echo that resonates, sometimes timidly, and that speaks of self-affirmation or self-denial, of expectations and fantasies, of emotional needs and shortcomings.

A resource of fear of love and the multiple possibilities of suffering or despair, of having given up expecting something more from life than fleeting and inconsequential experiences. Those who choose these relationships are under the influence of an impossible desire: touch fire and not get burned.

That’s why friendships with benefits often go wrong,

Usually it doesn’t work out. Either one of them gets hurt or they both end up feeding their insecurities. and demanding neurotic efforts that only generate or increase confusion.