When they love you, but don’t know how to take care of you

There are those who do not care to take care of you, to take you into account, and yet, they build a high fence around you where they do not lose you.. They are relationships based on the ego of a codependent personality, where only something as noble as affection is demanded and distorted, which gives light and does not delay tears.

The fear of the loved one moving away from us implies above all a lack of trust, and sometimes even the dangerous idea of considering the partner as a personal possession. Any relationship based on some form of fear inevitably generates great suffering.

There are those who do not know how to take care of you, who do not sense your sadness or are marked by so many disappointments; but she remembers: if they don’t take you into account, don’t forget to take yourself into account. Listen to your heart and pay attention to yourself.

As strange as it may seem to us, There are many couples who maintain this type of relationship. over time. We invite you to know the causes and know how to act appropriately, always protecting your self-esteem.

The controlling codependent and the compassionate

In an interesting article published in the magazine World of Psychology We were defined by two personality types that very well outline those types of relationships that are so unequal, but stable over time, where one controls and the other allows it. The basic characteristics would be the following:

The controlling codependent experiences commitment as a type of addiction. Underlying the need for dominance lies a lack of self-confidence, in which they must deploy strategies and defense mechanisms to disable the other person and thus have them under their control. The anxiety that the controlling codependent feels is so high that they cease to exist. own spaces to exist only a single “microworld” in common loaded with mistrust, reproaches and negative emotions. The word “compassionate”, for its part, sinks its Latin roots in “cum-passio” (shared suffering). The compassionate person is very aware of the partner’s dependency, of their need to control for fear of losing.Now, despite this, you cannot help but continue loving him/her, caring for him/her and prioritizing the other person above yourself. They are complex relationships that decay in a very characteristic circle of pain.

Take care of yourself above all things

Both the need for control and dependency are two inhibiting elements that lead to imbalance in the relationship. It is clear, and we all know, that emotional relationships are complex. But, in reality, we should say that the complexity lies in the people themselves and not in the relationship as such.

There are people who need to control because it is the only way they conceive of love. Others, however, even loving sincerely, lack the emotional skills to know how to demonstrate adequate reciprocity. However, It is important that in all our relationships we prioritize “excellence” over “demand.” To achieve this, it would be positive if we put the following strategies into practice.

Self-love, a relationship that should last forever

It is essential that you never forget the need to take care of yourself, to care for yourself. As curious as it may seem, and according to a study published in the journal The Journal of Personality and Social Psychologyyounger people have lower self-esteem than those who reach 60 years of age.

Good self-esteem, self-knowledge and good emotional management will make you remember that whoever does not take you into account, who does not take care of you, does not deserve your attention and even less your sadness. So, don’t hesitate to take your joys somewhere else.

It seems as if time puts each piece of our self-love in its place, as if experience sculpts us to reach maturity with greater poise and better balance. Now, it is essential to be able to enjoy each cycle, each stage and to walk with greater poise, strengthen that bond with oneself, called self-love.

Read Also: House, tree, person: the HTP personality test

Yes to a conscious emotional relationship

The relationships that work and that bring us happiness are mature and emotionally aware:

There is no need for control because there are no underlying fears, fears, insecurities or the will to violate the personal space of the loved one.Conscious and mature people share their fullness, they do not bring shadows of selfishness or voids that others must cover.Mature relationships are cared for and, in turn, allow each person to take into account their own growth, feeling free and being, at the same time, part of a common project.

In conclusion, The feeling that someone demands us, controls us and does not take us into account can extend beyond relationships. Family or friends can certainly exercise the same behavior.

Take action, defend territories, take care of your rights and, above all, listen to the voice of your heart asking for respect. Taking care of yourself is essential. Take care of your self-esteem, because no one is selfish for taking care of themselves.