When the demand demands too much of us

We all like things to go well. But we are also aware that our plans or aspirations do not always end as we had planned. There are numerous factors and unforeseen events that are impossible to control and not achieving the expected results can frustrate us. When demands demand too much from us, we can have a really bad time..

There are those who turn the achievement of perfection into an obsessive goal, which generates discomfort and continuous dissatisfaction. They are overly demanding people, whose intransigence with themselves and others becomes a real problem.. Living in a society as competitive as the current one, sometimes imposes unattainable goals on us. However, the important thing is to know when we can push ourselves a little more or when it is time to take our foot off the accelerator.

Being too demanding

When someone demanding is aware of their failures and realizes that they cannot achieve what they set out to do, they feel bad, blame themselves, punish themselves and beat themselves up inside. This attitude does not benefit, but rather generates negative feelings such as dissatisfaction. A dissatisfaction resulting from purposes that are not always entirely real. This is why it is so important to accept that error is part of everyday life and that not everything will always turn out as we expect.

Being so self-demanding, more than a virtue, can become a defect that causes us problems with ourselves and with others. Demanding people are often as uncompromising with others as they are with themselves.. This attitude does not lead to anything good. We cannot ask anyone more than they are capable of giving, nor expect others to be as we want them to be. We do not all have the same capabilities, nor the same tastes, nor the same aspirations, nor do we see life through the same prism.

A SELF-ESTEEM PROBLEM

Excessive demands generate stress and anxiety. A demanding person constantly seeks perfection. Not getting it creates dissatisfaction, a toxic emotion that leads to unhappiness. Furthermore, they tend to be susceptible and sensitive to criticism, whether constructive or destructive. For example, they can’t stand someone telling them how to do things.

The origin of this intransigence is generally associated with a self-esteem problem, with not accepting oneself as one is. The first step will be, therefore, learning to respect ourselves, that is, to love ourselves as we are, with our virtues and defects.

To let the demand become a problem, priorities and aspirations will have to change. Instead of chasing perfection, one should be aware of what one’s limitations are and also realize the limitations of others.

Many people project their demands onto others, causing emotional problems. There are parents who frustrate their children’s happiness by continually demanding that they be perfect.. This generates a potential feeling of guilt and insecurity in children since their parents make them feel that they never meet expectations and they also feel incapable of doing so.

Demand and relationships

Excessive demands can also affect relationships.

Those who are so demanding may blame the partner for being the cause of their unhappiness. When expectations are not met, we blame the other person. “You weren’t like that before, you’ve changed.”, they say a lot. The fact of the matter is that we all change over time. Otherwise, we would be anchored to an immobility that would prevent us from evolving. Therefore, to love without demands is to love respecting the personal growth of the other..

Being a demanding person does not have to become something negative if we know how to manage it and set limits.. Demand can help us achieve goals or achieve challenges, something that will improve our self-esteem. But we have to be aware that, even if we put all our effort into doing things well, we will not always obtain the expected results. Life is not perfect and neither are people.