When a man is afraid of falling in love, he walks away: 6 reasons

Have you noticed any alarming signs that your man is pulling away from you?

Maybe he’s suddenly become a lot less affectionate. Or it may be a bit of a mission lately to contact him, maybe he has told you something like “you deserve better”.

Everything was going great, so you don’t understand his recent behavior.

You are starting to worry and wonder “why is it suddenly colder?” and perhaps most importantly, “Why would someone who loves you walk away?”

This article will help you get to the bottom of what is really going on and what to do about it.

Why when a man is afraid of falling in love does he walk away? top 6 reasons

1) So many feelings have overwhelmed you

While intimacy can be a beautiful thing, it also causes many of us to start worrying.

In fact, according to Psychology Today, about 17% of adults in Western cultures fear intimacy and avoid closeness in relationships.

If he is one of these people, you may have gotten too close, he is afraid of getting hurt.

When a man develops feelings for someone, it can bring up a lot of conflicting emotions that he may not quite know how to deal with.

If he doesn’t know how to handle that, walking away may be his unconscious (or conscious) way of avoiding that discomfort.

It sounds counterintuitive to think that if we care or even love someone, we would distance ourselves, but feelings can be intimidating.

Maybe he wasn’t planning on having those strong emotions come up for you, and he’s pretty scared.

Navigating new and unexpected feelings can be a minefield.

He may even know that he loves you, but he freaks out at the thought of losing control.

2) He is afraid of commitment

We can also remove all male stereotypes nice and early.

The image of the emotionally unavailable man may sound cliché, but let’s face it, they certainly exist, and in spades.

So much so, that there is a term for this fear, it is called philophobia.

But how can you end up dating or even in a relationship if you have real commitment phobia? After all, wouldn’t he be actively dodging those situations?

Well yes and no.

The problem is, there’s a big difference between wanting a relationship and being ready for one.

The willingness to compromise has been shown to be an important factor in the success rate of a relationship.

Many guys like the idea in theory. But deep down, they are not prepared to open up to what a commitment to someone implies.

You may not want to be alone, but you’re not ready for a deeper connection. You would probably be more comfortable with superficial connections.

You can give all the right signals early on that you’re looking for something serious.

But when the time comes, her dating strategy doesn’t match her true predisposition for a relationship.

In the process, he exposes himself to failure and you to suffering. These men are not always the easiest to spot, as the red flags that you don’t want a serious relationship may show up later.

Pay attention to whether he’s had a series of short-term liaisons, which always seem to end as soon as things get serious. If so, your guy might have an irrational fear of commitment.

3) Things are moving too fast

Sure he loves you, but the casual talk about what they would name their first child came too soon for him.

Everyone has their own unique pace in which a relationship progresses that they are comfortable with.

You and your guy may not be quite on the same page.

Maybe you’re ready to jump into the “happily ever after” chapter, but that doesn’t mean he is.

There are no rules about how fast or how slow things should go, but it should work for both parties.

If you’re quietly planning your wedding day in your head, while he’s silently wondering when to bring up the trip with the boys he intends to take, you’ll start to feel a disconnect between you.

What you see as displays of love in your relationship, he may feel are clingy and needy.

If he starts to feel stifled or pressured by you to move faster than he’s ready, he might start to pull away.

Take it as a cue to slow down your intensity and the speed you want to go.

He needs more space, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.

Here are 26 signs of what a man in love looks like, if you want to be sure.

4) It is insecure

All those terrible dating stories you’ve heard might make you think that everyone men are womanizers. But many times it is that they try to show a “bad boy” image.

For every man who thinks he’s the best thing that could happen to you, there’s another who secretly wonders if they’re up to you.

If you are one of those who analyze a lot, you will be able to empathize with what is happening in their mind.

If he is feeling insecure about your feelings for him, he may also be feeling quite anxious.

In this state, it can be difficult to know how to behave.

You think it’s unbelievable, but he himself can’t believe that you see him like this.

Even if you haven’t given him reason to question your feelings, that won’t necessarily stop his mind from working overtime.

As psychotherapist Perpetua Neo told Business Insider:

“We are driven by stories, and we don’t know what kinds of assumptions govern us until we stop and reflect…In therapy we call these stories ‘core beliefs’…but I say we are driven by stories. It could be upbringing, it could be a difficult experience, or an attachment, which can lead to stories about us, like ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I’m not worthy’, ‘I’m not nice’”.

If he unreasonably thinks he can’t give you what you need, then his own insecurities may be the reasons he’s drifting apart.

5) He did not learn to be in a relationship

Knowing how to create healthy relationships doesn’t come naturally to us, it’s something we learn.

For most of us, attitudes and behaviors toward love and intimacy are strongly shaped by the first relationship patterns we see in life, usually within our family.

Attachment styles are part of the attachment theory in psychology.

They say that a child’s development depends on their ability to form a strong relationship with at least one of their caregivers (which for most people is a parent).

The way someone is brought up and the experiences they have can lead to safe or unsafe behavior in later life relationships.

People who avoid attachment often seem very independent.

both physically and emotionally. But in reality, they are trying to avoid getting too close to others.

According to Medical News Today, adults with an avoidant attachment style may:

Avoiding emotional closeness in relationships Feeling that their partners are being clingy when they simply want to become emotionally closer Withdrawing and dealing with difficult situations alone Repressing emotions Avoiding complaining, preferring to hint at what is wrong Suppressing negative memories Withdrawing or disengaging from conversations or moments unpleasant Feeling afraid of rejection Having a strong sense of independence Having feelings of high self-esteem, while having a negative view of others Being overly focused on their own needs and comfort

6) You have been hurt in the past

Most of us have history, when we enter into a new relationship. Old romance often equates to current baggage.

Rejection, heartbreak, fear, and sadness are not something we get over right away, when we have been hurt in the past.

Even if we have moved on from the relationship, the memory of the pain it caused us can still linger into the future.

Having been heartbroken can make him act more cautious with you.

If your man feels that in the past he wrongly plunged headfirst into a relationship before and suffered the consequences, he might be more hesitant now.

Being cheated on by your partner, or even abandoned by someone you were in love with, are events that could have left a mark on you.

If you’ve been hurt in the past, you might be too scared to fall in love and so walk away.

He may hesitate until he feels confident that he can trust you with all his heart.

What can you do to make it come back to you?

I know that seeing someone you love walk away can be very hard, but if you really want them back, you will have to act smart.

When your partner walks away for no reason, everything seems to collapse. And your efforts may drive him further away.

Relationship coach Samantha Sanderson has created a method through which she helps women win back their partners.

In it, he combines his years of experience in the field of love and develops intelligent techniques to activate the unconscious instincts of a man and make him want to return to you.

His method makes him think of you and become convinced that you are the woman to whom he belongs.

Here is the LINK to a short presentation of this method that will surprise you.

Other reasons why a man walks away from a woman

1) You are stressed, busy and worried

Before your mind races to a million miles an hour, try to get some perspective.

It’s not always about you.

In the early stages of romance, we all tend to get a little clouded.

You feel like you are the only two people in the world.

But real life doesn’t work like that. And at some point, external pressures and demands influence a relationship.

From family dramas, financial worries, demanding periods at work, and even mental health issues like anxiety and depression. There are countless daily stresses that people face.

Women and men have different communication styles.

It may be a stereotype, but often men aren’t always that good at talking about the pressure they’re under and may instead hide things.

His withdrawal may have nothing to do with you and everything to do with other things in his life that he isn’t opening up about.

2) They are coming out of the honeymoon phase

Depending on the intensity of your relationship and how much time you spend together, the honeymoon phase can last anywhere from a few months to a couple of years.

Those effortless moments you share at the beginning of a romance, (you know, when it might seem like your partner is doing nothing wrong and everything is magical) don’t last forever.

That’s the fairytale stage of a relationship, where the rush of feel-good hormones tint everything with a warm, fuzzy glow.

The sad truth is, many couples break up because they don’t know how to adjust when that phase is over.

As time passes, inevitably, the relationship no longer feels as exciting and new. Part of that emotion…