What to say to a person who speaks ill of you

Before responding to a person who you know has spoken badly about you, you should think carefully about what you will say. This is the most convenient, since the way you do it can be beneficial or even more detrimental to you.

Especially if it’s a friend who had a reason to do it. So you might want to explain what really happened, to make things right with him.

On the other hand, if it is someone you do not know, it may not be worth answering.

How to deal with someone who says negative things about you

We have all been through the frustrating situation of finding out that someone has said negative things about us. Because of this we have felt really bad and perhaps we did not know how to handle it.

In order to deal with this, the first thing you need to do is see how you let this affect you.

Fortunately, you decide how much you allow this to affect you. I know, it’s not easy to handle this kind of situation. But if you stop every time and try to think about it objectively, you will see how little by little you can face these kinds of circumstances.

Tips to keep in mind when dealing with a person who does not say good things about you

1) Reflect on it

If someone said something bad about you, think about why they did this. Maybe you did something that upset this person, without realizing it.

Of course, the person can also be wrong and you may not agree with what they told you.

Then, after you have reflected on them, you can talk to him or her and clear things up. Whether you have to amend something or want to stop this person who is speaking ill of you.

2) Think of the situation as learning

Everything one lives in this world is to learn, whether good or bad.

Perhaps you had to go through this sad experience to realize something that you are not doing well. You probably don’t mean to hurt anyone. Then you must think that you are lucky to have found out about it so that you can fix it.

Also, going through these things strengthens you and helps you handle yourself better on future occasions.

3) Do not get carried away by your emotions

It is very easy and understandable to get angry when one hears that they speak ill of one. Many times we get carried away by our feelings and go directly to confront the person who is harming us.

The problem is that if we act spontaneously in the heat of the moment, we can say things that we may later regret.

It is always better to calm down and digest what has come to our ears, in order to solve the problem in a more intelligent way.

It may even happen that what comes to us is not really what the person we care about thinks. This is very common, especially if the rumor has been passed from mouth to mouth by many people.

That is why it is better to communicate calmly with whom we are interested in, to clarify the situation and see what is the best way to act.

4) Put yourself in the place of the other

This is something that happens very frequently, something that is not bad for me, it may seem like something negative to someone else.

That’s why it’s good not to react immediately and put yourself in the other’s place, to see why they spoke badly about you. Maybe in this way you can understand and apologize if necessary, or in any case clear up the misunderstanding.

5) Ignore the bad things that have been said about you

Another recommended thing to do is to analyze, if what they have said badly about you really hurts you.

There are people who have nothing better to do than talk more than they should. They say nonsense about others, to attract attention or to make themselves interesting.

So the best thing you can do is not waste energy on these people, you surely don’t want them in your life.

Also, if the negative things they say about you are not true, sooner or later this will be known. So the gossipy person is the one who will be harmed and you will not have had to do anything, so that your reputation returns to what it was.

6) You can’t please everyone

This is the truth. No matter how hard we try, not everyone can like us.

Also, you must understand that most of the time, this has nothing to do with you. Perhaps someone had a bad experience, which led them to think negatively of you.

Likewise, it is very common to see in others something that we do not like about ourselves and channel it into this person.

7) Don’t get defensive

If you react by justifying yourself or trying to explain the situation, without having analyzed it, you may end up saying something you don’t want, due to nerves.

Additionally, this can make you look defenseless and will not make you look good in front of others.

8) Do not let this person intimidate you

As much as he or she has managed to make others think badly of you, this person has no right to do this with anyone. Don’t allow it, don’t let it advance.

You must be sure that you have the truth and this is stronger than any lie. Empower yourself with this and deny what it is saying about you.

What does it mean when someone talks bad about you?

That someone says things against you can have several reasons.

One of them is the one that I mentioned before, people who are bored and like to attract attention, speaking ill of others.

Another reason is that the person may be angry, but can’t bring himself to confront you. Then talk to other people so that this reaches your ears.

Of course this is not the way to resolve things. In addition, it shows immaturity and little security on the part of the person who spreads the rumor.

There are also people who say negative things about others to make them look bad and seem better.

The reality is that these people suffer from low self-esteem and that is why they behave in this way. Deep down they don’t even think well of themselves and need professional help, like a therapist.

That is why you should not feel bad if you discover that a person speaks ill of you. There can be several causes for this and most of them have nothing to do with you.

What should you do when someone talks bad about you at work?

One of the most common areas where you can hear negative rumors about someone is work.

If this happens to you, take a deep breath, analyze the situation, but don’t let too much time pass. You must act fast, otherwise it can bring you serious problems. I know people who have stopped growing in the workplace due to false rumors and have even lost their jobs.

But you shouldn’t fight back, this could be even more damaging. You must handle gossip as such and in an adult way.

As difficult as it is, if you know who it is that started saying things against you, you must face them. Get him to stop, and if he doesn’t, talk to your boss and see what’s the best thing to do.

You can also talk to a trusted partner to help you see how you can resolve the situation. This can be really helpful, because when you’re the main actor on a problem, it can be hard to see things objectively.

Additionally, you can lose sight of certain things that people outside the conflict can see better.

Final thoughts

We all want to get along with everyone, but this is an impossible mission, as perfection is just an illusion. Does not exist.

We can only do our best and the people we have to be with will come alone.

Also, never be someone’s means to harm a third party. What I mean is, if you hear a negative rumor about someone, don’t follow it up by telling other people. As much as this can attract your partners to you.

If you think about it, surely you do not want to have as friends, people who rejoice in the misery of others.

And of course, don’t start talking bad about anyone. This will eventually hurt you, since at some point the truth will come out and you will be the one who loses face.

Finally, don’t let your emotions take over when you find out that someone doesn’t like you and says negative things about you.

The best way you can solve this problem is calmly and having thought about it in advance. Give it the importance it deserves and continue on your way.