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What happens when love is unrequited

Unrequited love is possibly one of the most painful situations you can go through in life. Those who have lived it know it and have felt it with their entire being.

That is also why, in turn, It is the clearest opportunity we have to learn valuable lessons about ourselves. Being in full emotional openness, we are much more fragile and hypersensitized to what is happening.

Experiencing this situation can be traumatic and distressing, and at the same time enriching and enlightening. We obtain, without a doubt, a unique perspectivein which we see ourselves experiencing a multitude of facets that we did not believe we had.

Suddenly time seems to stop, and our heart rate accelerates every time we think about that loved one on whom we have a complete fixation.

The melancholy of love

In unrequited love, melancholy is your faithful companion. It is the disease of the unsatisfied lover, due to non-correspondence, due to the desire and constant need for fusion.

“Every lover, whose love is sincere and who cannot enjoy the loving union, either because of separation, because of disdain on the part of a loved one, or because of keeping his feelings a secret, moved by any circumstance, must necessarily reach the borders of the disease and being exhausted and haggard, which sometimes forces him to stay in bed.”

-Ibn Hazm-

We would like to share everything we experience with that person, anything reminds us of them. All the places she passed through become sacredwe become exalted and altered when contemplating it, even if it is a fantasy.

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We wait for any minimal contact with her, and the result ends up being nostalgic: a sadness installed in the depths of our hearts. It is when we feel true loneliness, for not being with the one we long for so much..

This illness, such as the melancholy of love, which medieval troubadours emphasize, comes precisely from that which would remedy it: the being who is loved.

Frustration over non-correspondence

It is inevitable throughout the course of this process, in which we are feeling a deep love, that frustration invades us, due to expectations, illusions and fantasies that are not satisfied with the passage of time.

The non-responsiveness of love can occur in the event of falling in love with someone who does not reciprocate it, and it can also occur in the event of a lack of love where there has been abandonment after a previous mutual love.

In both cases The intensity of frustration can lead to various physical and psychological problems, due to the self-destruction of maintaining hope and hope indefinitely in an unsatisfied manner.

At what point do you lose hope and desire to be with the other person? This is a question that those who have already gone through this situation will be able to solve. But it also has a peculiarity: the response and resolution will be different with each of the loved ones.

Acceptance of non-correspondence

This entire process of maturity and self-knowledge concludes with acceptance. Being able to assimilate and understand that love is not controllable, it does not depend on our will, and therefore the other person will not be able to feel it even if they want to.

“Not being loved is a simple misfortune; “The true misfortune is not to love.”

-Albert Camus-

Like We won’t be able to stop feeling it either when we decide.. We can only observe how it is transformed in relation to how it is being experienced.

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Love is part of spiritual matters, and cannot be intellectualized. It is a deep joy that floods us and fills us with longing for the loved one. Feeling that nothing matters but the well-being of that other person.

Only the person who loves under this situation knows where his limit is.when you have to surrender to the acceptance of reality.

When despair, discomfort and melancholy have been experienced with great intensity; without reaching repression, in the face of non-correspondence, Those feelings are allowed to die, which do not represent a breakup, but rather a transformation in the relationship..

Regretting for having loved and not being reciprocated shows great ingratitude, since The fact of having felt what it is to love is the greatest gift that can be obtained. Its magnitude and intensity are well suited to flourish our soul, as well as to sculpt us through the wounds.

“It is true that whatever happens
I feel it more the more it hurts.
Still, it is better to have loved and lost
than never having loved.”

-Lord Alfred Tennyson-

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