We all need affection, we need to be loved

Giving and receiving affection is an exchange for which we are very gifted. It constitutes a necessity for us. An existence without love means emptiness -which some accuse more than others- in an important part of our psychological life.

Throughout life we establish numerous interpersonal relationships. We pour more or less affection into them due to the affinity we feel for those people. The intensity and frequency of the relationship also influences us, as well as the emotional reciprocity that they return to us.

More or less unconsciously we give affection and hope that it produces a certain effect on the loved one. We want this person to return their affection to us, which implies recognition or reciprocity and the establishment of an emotional bond, such as friendship.

An existence lacking love and affection represents a void in an important part of our psychic life. Affection is a human need.

Affection is a feeling typical of, but not unique to, human beings. It is an expression of intense affection that is felt towards another person, animal or thing that is treated with care, delicacy and care. He thinks that affectivity is fundamental in the development of people. If a child grows up lacking expressions of love and affection, he or she may show personality imbalances in adolescence and adulthood.

What depends on whether or not we feel affection towards the people around us?

Many times we give affection without expecting anything in return, without expecting a response. Thus, these relationships hardly last long. The lack of affective resonance means that there is no psychological stimulus that reinforces our behavior. This behavior will gradually lose strength until it disappears completely. So, We will end up turning to other people from whom we obtain a certain emotional compensation.

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The frequency with which we interact with loved ones also influences us. If we distance ourselves from them, the lack of treatment can cause the relationship to progressively cool down. In any case, this can survive a long time in cases in which it was previously solidly established, without elements that would deteriorate it. That is why we say that We have friends for life even though we haven’t spoken to them in a long time..

When we distance ourselves from loved ones and there is a lack of treatment, the relationship can end up cooling and breaking up. However, there are forever friends, even if we haven’t spoken to them in a long time.

As with many family members, a strong bond has long been established. Thanks to it, we are sure of its capacity for emotional response at any time in our lives.

The fact of loving others, if the relationships we have established with them are healthy and sincere, makes us feel useful and necessary.. It also makes us feel satisfied with ourselves by developing an important capacity of our personality.

What effects do we obtain from feeling affection from others?

Affection fills our lives with meaning and contributes to our psychological balance. Feeling loved by others, especially during childhood, gives us self-confidence.

We too It serves to reinforce some aspects of our personality and indirectly increases self-esteem.. Likewise, it helps us face the difficulties that arise throughout life, within a climate of communication and social adaptation essential for the development of personality.

Feeling loved, especially during childhood, gives us a good dose of self-confidence.

The famous hormone oxytocin

When we hug someone to show our affection, we relieve stress and anxiety, lower our blood pressure and improve memory.. Likewise, a hormone and neurotransmitter, oxytocin, is released in our body. Oxytocin, in Its role as a neurotransmitter is involved in behaviors related to trust, altruism, generosity, the formation of bonds, caring behaviors, empathy or compassion, etc.

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But there is much more. Oxytocin plays a fundamental role in maternal and sexual behavior, as well as in aggressive behaviors. Its presence intervenes in the regulation of fear, eliminating paralysis responses.

As we are seeing, Affection plays a decisive role in the life and mental health of each person.. However, both the exaggerated need for affection and the contempt for the feelings that others express towards us can be the cause or expression of a psychopathological disorder.

The exaggerated need to receive affection does us no good, quite the opposite.

An exaggerated need for affection is the main symptom of some psychological disorders. This excessive need for affection is the defining trait of hysterical personalities. The individual with a hysterical personality uses seduction in the service of the need for self-esteem and dependence on him. Although unintentionally, he continually plays a role. “Act” to gain attention and affection. He overreacts to comments or actions that, even minimally, violate “his character.”

On the other hand, Psychopathic personalities are often characterized by a disregard for social norms along with a frank disinterest in the feelings of others.. This is demonstrated in a cruel coldness in the face of the suffering that may be causing these people. He thinks that psychopaths sometimes respond cruelly to the emotional display of which they are subjected.

The psychopaths They do not feel guilty for the suffering and pain they inflict on others, or for any of their actions in general. Unease or sadness are not in their vocabulary.

The role of affection in depression

What role does affection play in depression? Let’s see. In depression, emotional impoverishment generally occurs. These people may sometimes feel incapable of loving the people they have always loved.. What is most shocking is that they do not find causes that justify it. This makes them suffer deeply.

Some people with severe depression may lose the ability to give and receive affection. This is what is called “affective impoverishment.”

Also, people with depression may not feel loved by others.. They can lose all ability to give and receive love, although in most cases it is more of a subjective sensation than something objective. When their relatives are asked, they usually respond that the person in question appears cold and their emotions are “flattened,” that is, it is difficult for them to express them.

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It seems clear, then, that giving and receiving affection is more beneficial than harmful., we have no doubt. Through affection we strengthen our personality, increase our self-esteem, compassion and confidence, among other benefits.

And you, have you already felt how beneficial it is to give and receive affection?