You are the owner of your own destiny

Many times we blame our circumstances on bad luck or the people who harmed us. However, only we are responsible for our lives.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

When you hear that you are the master of your own destiny, it may sound like a hackneyed phrase about personal improvement.. We are often encouraged to pursue our dreams and feel powerful, but no one explains to us how to do it. Therefore, they end up becoming empty expressions that we do not take into account.

But reality is much deeper and more complex than you imagine.. Becoming master of your destiny is not only about fulfilling your goals and desires. On the contrary, it involves looking at your darkest parts, accepting your failures and taking responsibility.

Get out of the role of victim

From a young age we are taught to adapt to the role of victims. Not in the sense of dramatizing and wallowing in suffering, but in the perception that I don’t direct my life, things happen to me. We grow up thanking luck when something goes well for us and feeling helpless and miserable when the opposite happens.

Although we are not fully capable of consciously perceiving it, We feel that our life is drifting from events. If we have a good job we feel lucky, and when our personal relationships are not healthy we stay in them out of inertia, because that is what it is.

Exactly the same happens with our personal development. If we feel that we are too shy, insecure or unable to be vulnerable, we do nothing. “I am like this,” we think, and continue forward. convinced that these are the cards we have been dealt and we have to play with them.

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What no one tells us is that we can distribute again. They don’t explain to us that we can change habits, relationships, places. Which is, really, our full right to do so. No one empowers us and affirms that we have real control over our circumstances, that if we don’t like where we are, we can move. That if we don’t like how we are, we can change.

become an adult

However, To take the reins of our destiny it is necessary to take charge of our past, present and future. We have all shielded ourselves from the difficult circumstances that we have had to live through. Parents who didn’t do it very well, cruel colleagues, a ruthless partner.

Yes, it’s true, our past greatly influences who we are today. But we must remember that we no longer live there, that We are no longer that child who suffered so much. Today we are adults, and the only ones responsible for healing those wounds so that they stop conditioning us. When you truly become an adult, you stop needing blame, because you understand that everything is in your hands.

To become an adult you have to look squarely at the darkness of your past, feel the pain that you did not want to face. in due time and heal. Extract the lesson that each experience has taught you and use it to come out stronger. To better understand who you are, what you want and what you are not willing to tolerate.

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Healing is not an easy task, it often requires professional help, however it is the best gift you can give yourself. When you free yourself from past burdens, you feel free to start anew. A world of possibilities opens before you, where you are no longer governed by what they made of you, but by what you want to be.

Be the master of your own destiny

Now that you know the secret, start working. Spend some time introspecting to know which aspects you need to heal and which you want to modify. Remember that you don’t have to settle, you deserve quality in every area of your life. Even if that means abandoning people, jobs or traditions that don’t allow you to take off.

Change is dizzying, but it is the only thing that gets you out of where you are and takes you where you want to go. Don’t be afraid to try new things, don’t be afraid to change your mind. It may feel forced at first, but in the end, being guided by your own values will be your only way of walking through the world.

There will no longer be a place for those who try to define you, limit you or throw you down, because you have discovered your power. If you want something, make a plan to achieve it. Train yourself, change your thoughts and your behaviors. You are the only creator of your reality.