Wanting others to be happy affects our well-being

Wishing others to be happy costs nothing and says a lot about us.. Even more, this type of personal focus and authentic desire results in our well-being. However, from time to time we come across those people who think that ‘I want you to be happy, of course, but no more than I am.’ They are profiles that contradict the principle of human interconnection.

Most of us have had a similar experience. One where we have approached someone we believed was significant to give them good news, to share with him or her something good that had happened to us. Instantly, We perceive tension, a certain falsity or that discomfort that suddenly reveals a failure in the connection.; a dissonance in emotions and reciprocity.

Feeling discomfort in the face of other people’s happiness reveals something deeper than the shadow of envy. Sometimes it is a blow to self-esteem. It is also becoming aware that others manage to improve themselves and achieve goals while oneself remains surrounded by their insecurities. It is not easy to tolerate the joy of others when constant frustration lives in their minds.

Wishing the well-being of others and celebrating the triumphs of others is an exercise in well-being. It has nothing to do with ethical, moral, religious or spiritual principles. In reality, behind this expressed desire there is a psychological basis as valid as it is interesting that scientific studies explain to us. Let’s see it.

Wanting others to be happy, the altruism that emerges from a calm heart

Just a few weeks ago, Iowa State University carried out a study that was as interesting as it was curious. The doctor Douglas A. Gentile and his team in the psychology department selected a group of people who had been diagnosed with stress and anxiety. They trained them for several days in a fairly simple technique that turned out to have good results.

It was simply a matter of going for a walk every day for between 15 and 20 minutes. While they did so, They carried out what is known as the technique kinhin, which consists of a meditation exercise while the person walksrun or carry out some type of physical practice. Likewise, and while these patients took this walk, the psychologists asked them to try to experience kindness, calm and well-being.

For it They were simply asked to wish happiness to everyone they met.. Thus, the simple fact of projecting onto others an express desire for well-being and positivity in turn had a positive impact on their own well-being. The mind reduced the burden of worries and obsessive thoughts. Internal calm and focusing on a feeling of affection generated comfort and satisfaction.

Sanitize thoughts through the focus of kindness

Dr. Douglas Gentile verified three things with this experiment. The first, that the level of anxiety and stress was significantly reduced. And the fact that this happened was not just due to simple physical exercise. It was basically to change the person’s internal dialogue and above all, their emotional focus.. It was going from internal negativity to stimulating that mental effort to project goodness.

Wanting others to be happy, regardless of whether those they encountered were complete strangers, increased their empathy and feelings of social connection. Suddenly, They paid more attention to other people’s faces, they opened their gaze to the outside and especially, the human factor to connect with it.

Wanting others to be happy frees us from unnecessary burdens

In psychology, we talk about the boomerang effect or principle of action to explain how some acts, words or thoughts generate some type of consequence.. Thus, something as basic as being able to wish others to be happy always has an impact on ourselves.

There is an emotional reward and there is also a type of catharsis. Let’s think about it; Let’s imagine, for example, that we have a very envious coworker.. She is one of those people who always looks at us askance, showing some discomfort due to our good work and professional competence.

If we imitated their behavior, we would create a feedback loop where discomfort, negativity and confrontation would lead us to a very uncomfortable state of stress. On the other hand, wishing him well relaxes. Accepting that everyone is as they are and wishing them to be as happy as they can within their possibilities, takes away weight from us.cleanses the mind and avoids useless hostilities.

Therefore, that famous saying of ‘Do good without looking at who‘, can also be rephrased as ‘wish happiness without looking at who’. Because The simple act of projecting positive thoughts improves our brain chemistry, changes internal dialogue and it forces us to make that mental effort with which to open ourselves a little more to others. Let’s put this simple health and human connection tip into practice.