Why do people change?

Why do people change? William James said that the character of the human being is like plaster, it never changes.. However, as we well know, this is not entirely true. Often, figures that are very close to us surprise us with unexpected reactions, with passions very different from those they used to have and even with different behaviors.

All of this is neither good nor bad, it is part of that vast complexity that defines us so much; also to ourselves. Change is common, our personality is not etched in stonebut some aspects are eroded, others are modeled with our experiences, thus tracing a relief that varies throughout our life cycle.

In this way, and although our essence remains enclosed in that cubicle of bone that is the skull, we transcend beyond its walls to relate, to feel, observe and experience. There are facts and personal circumstances that impact us in different ways and generate a change in us.. Other times, we ourselves are the ones who encourage new behaviors, who lean towards other interests because we believe it is convenient.

Thus, Those who have maintained a codependent relationship for years may decide to end that bond. After doing so, you even feel the need to improve certain aspects of your personality, such as self-esteem, self-concept, assertiveness or resolution.

In essence, The change in the human being is not only real, but it is quite common. However, on a relational level, all of this can take us by surprise, identifying reactions for which we are not always prepared.

Why do people change? Aspects that we must take into account

If we ask ourselves with some annoyance why people change, it is basically due to one fact. A change is a threat to stability; Different and unexpected behavior is almost like an alarm signal. Something for which we are not prepared and that it is difficult for us to accept.

“Why does my partner say now that he no longer wants to go out cycling with me on weekends if we have always done it?” “Why is that friend now staying with other people and not with me?” “What could be the reason why my son now has such unexpected hobbies?” We could give a thousand examples of all those situations where a change in others raises uncertainty and strangeness in us.

Personality is not always a factor capable of perfectly predicting human behavior.. We can, for example, know a brother, our partner, our children very well; However, it is impossible to know 100% what they are going to do at all times.

People change over the years

Change in human beings is not only real, but necessary. Changing is also maturing, it is awakening awareness and worth to better face our reality based on needs and also passions. This same conclusion was reached in an international study carried out in 2017 by several universities, to understand why people change.

We all change over the years and we do it precisely based on the well-known model of the Big 5 of personality, that is, according to those five factors that would structure human character. That is, our emotional stability matures and changes, our openness to experience, we become more or less extroverted, more or less introverted, we control impulsivity a little more, etc.

Why do people change? For a survival mechanism

A change in time is an act of survival. This is something that is very clear from the area of ​​clinical psychology; What’s more, if change were not possible in human beings, we would not be able to recover from our adversities, our problems and many of our mental disorders.

Therefore, it is essential to generate new patterns of thoughts and behaviors to get out of those situations that hurt us, whatever they may be. What’s more, even though our brain is so resistant to changes, it is prepared for them as a matter of instinct and survival. However, yes, For this to happen, two factors are needed: realizing that we must change and committing to it.

We must accept changes, in ourselves and in others

We have all wondered why people change. And we do it, above all, because these changes have sometimes caused us suffering. To handle these situations a little better, it would be wise to reflect on a series of questions.:

If we love a person, the most appropriate thing is to accept each of their processes.. We are all in constant growth and, sometimes, a change is nothing more than an internal need that comes to the outside and as such, we must understand. The appearance of a change in others is not something sudden. It arises gradually and something like this should make us wonder what the trigger could be. Sometimes there may be a problem mediating behind certain reactions. Others, it is due to the appearance of other interests and concerns.Another factor to take into account is the high expectations that we sometimes place on others.. We think we know everything about that colleague, that close person, and suddenly, they surprise us with something unexpected. Maybe we didn’t really know them and they weren’t what we thought they were.

To conclude, as Charles Darwin said, he who manages to survive is not the strongest or the most intelligent, he is the one who handles changes best, who generates them and adapts to them. Each of us will experience them on more than one occasion and we will even generate them voluntarily; let us accept, therefore, those of others.

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