Trust is not knowing everything about someone, it is NOT needing to know.

Trusting everyone is like giving away the most delicate thing you have: your heart. Trust is a precious asset, a treasure to be offered with caution, because it is the most beautiful thing about a friendship and the strongest bond in a relationship. We do not need to know everything about that person because the connection is exceptional. On the other hand, trust is essential for intimacy to be born and develop.

This dimension goes far beyond the simple psychological field. We are talking about an emotional tendon that at the same time builds our social behavior. So much so that from philosophy and sociology they explain to us that Trust acquires a more authentic and revealing level in humanity than in other animals. These last They trust their peers of the same species by simple instinctive behavior. People, in part and sometimes, do it consciously, often applying wise “selection”: a very special filter based on experience.

To talk about trust is to refer above all to a positive emotion that guarantees the strength of a bond. However, few dimensions define a specific personality type more than the way you confer trust on others. Low self-esteem, a traumatic childhood or living in your own skin The impact of betrayal makes our trust become a gift that is more difficult to share.

A topic that is undoubtedly interesting and full of nuances that we want to share with you.

Stopping trust translates into emotional exhaustion

One of the psychological and even evolutionary advantages of the concept of trust is that it allows us to temporarily “suspend” our instinct of self-defense, uncertainty and fear. Because Few things can cause greater emotional suffering than being always on the defensive.than fear being hurt or betrayed in our daily dealings with our fellow human beings.

Giving our trust to someone means, therefore, ending that uncertainty to simplify personal relationships. We stop worrying about the other’s behavior as a threat and, in turn, we establish hypotheses regarding that person’s future behavior: We take it for granted that the interaction will always be positive, that no action will be taken against us. and that will be that helping hand, that soul full of light that guides us at every moment.

Trust does not mean having to know everything about our partner, that family member or that good friend. Trust is not needing explanations, it is knowing how to read the sincerity in your eyes.is connecting our minds to harmonize a day to day where demands do not exist, where there is no iron control or having to reaffirm that bond at every moment so that the other person believes us.

On the other hand, it is worth remembering that our brain needs to simplify and prefers to navigate a routine daily life free of risks. It needs an adequate emotional balance where trust is, so to speak, its best weapon so that we can “function.” If we think about it, Each of us has put on autopilot in our mind a commander who at every moment whispers to us that “trust.”“Take the car and drive, nothing will happen to you.

“Trust” that doctor knows what he is doing and will help you. “Trust” every day when you go out on the street, fatality is not something that one finds every meter. If we do not put this autopilot in our mind, we will develop neurotic behavior that will completely disconnect us from reality, from our personal balance.

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If you want to be trusted, trust others

We have to admit, once they fail us, it is very difficult to trust again.. It’s like a piece of our insides has been ripped out. As if Shylock himself “Merchant of Venice” He would have received his payment, taking a pound from our hearts. It is a permanent and deep wound that prevents, in many cases, our ability to connect so intimately with someone again.

The disappointments that hurt the most are those experienced with our closest people. However, the most problematic thing about all this is the fact that this distrust extends to other areas of our lives: we begin to distrust practically everything until we become permanent phobics, sad specters of an everlasting sadness that secludes us in the most isolated corners of our society.

Trust again, key to Vital Intelligence

Within the “manual of the eternally disenchanted”, there is that chapter that begins with “I will never trust anyone again, people are harmful, selfless and selfish.”

Thinking this means entering, whether we want it or not, into an irremediable vital entropy, when in reality People are genetically and evolutionarily predisposed to connect with each other.. We trust to create bonds, we trust to strengthen ourselves psychologically, intellectually and emotionally and we also trust to develop what is now called “vital intelligence”.

A conscious and vital intelligence is a direct invitation to survival and self-realization., where confidence in ourselves and in others is the most powerful substrate to give us encouragement. Because in the end, whether we want it or not, we have to do it, open ourselves to someone to embrace their being, and then meet ourselves once again.

Few things can be more satisfying.

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Images courtesy of Pierre Mornet