True love will make you uncomfortable

We use the word “love” so many times these days. In many ways, it has become an ironic expression of affection rather than a genuine feature of a healthy society. This is not the case for each of us, but it is for some.

Sometimes (in our ignorance) we undermine the meaning of love, and in the process, we miss the part of love that takes us a little too far for comfort.

Of course, we want people to love us. We want to feel that unconditional affection that belongs to every human being. But what if we don’t fully understand it?

What if the media is trying to define for us the kind of love that encourages incomplete expression?

It’s easy for me to show love to people who love me back, but it’s not so easy the other way around. When there is opposition, rejection, or disagreement, most of us naturally despise the person or crowd from whom it comes.

Loving them despite these circumstances makes it even more uncomfortable. It challenges our pride and self-centeredness in profound ways. That’s why this form of love is real.

Letting go of the “I” Syndrome

Look around you and you will find someone who needs help. Yet many of us are content to simply feel sorry for ourselves and move on, focusing on ourselves as if there was nothing we could do. This is not true, not even in the slightest sense.

What seems most important in our culture is to consume the latest and greatest of things. Our worldviews are drenched in selfishness. I already have what I need. Because I would I want to worry about someone else’s problems?

But you can still do something. And the truth is, you will be uncomfortable when you do.

This will push you out of the realms of yourself and help you see the needs around you that are plentiful.

Think about your work. No matter your profession right now, just ponder with me for a second. In some respect or other, your tasks should help someone down the road. You’re making someone else’s job easier, better, and more manageable.

You are providing a valuable service to customers who have called because they need something. During these moments, however, we are thinking more about ourselves. We just want to end the day and move on with our lives. We want to get home and put our feet up as soon as possible.

Maybe that’s why you live so stressed out. Maybe that’s why you can’t find pleasure in what you do.

You you are mainly focusing on yourself. What they need isn’t all that important, we say.

But true love isn’t always about how we feel when we do something. It’s about doing what we can to improve someone else’s life. It’s about sacrificing the “me” mentality for the sake of the “other”, no matter how we feel. And that’s not easy.

This is something I’ve learned to accept in my own existence. I realized that there is more to life than gaining exposure and popularity. The world we live in is quite dark, but it is not one without light (as oppressive as the darkness may seem).

Giving is better than winning

I’ll be the first to admit that it’s nice to get attention. All eyes are on you. You have this dreamy image of being center stage with the lights on you and the flowers scattering all around. This analogy is true for many areas of our lives.

When I created my Twitter account in my sophomore year of high school, I decided to be the most popular kid in school. I was on the varsity basketball team, a proud member of the Eagles of Justice, and a notorious musician. But I felt that attention was not enough at the time.

Every day I made an effort to post something for my followers to see. The numbers grew and grew, but it never seemed to be enough. After all, my goal was to be the most popular.

In my quests, my real friends stayed out of the loop. I would spend hours on end trying to find ways to quickly grow my following. Conversations around them were forced because I wanted to look like I was listening when I really wasn’t.

What’s crazy is that my tweets were meaningless, didn’t provide any real value to people, and were mostly about myself.

Even though these facts remain clear, people with the same traits follow anyway – funny how this correlates with who their true mates are.

But in the end, I lost my true friends. Those who were by my side when my mind was in a virtual world full of characters who might care less about me in real life. They gave their time, energy, and attention to me, even though I didn’t return the favor.

That scene had an expiration date, and with good reason.

I would win the friendships back, but only when I was willing to stay uncomfortable. My dream of becoming a popular Twitter star faded and I started to focus on the things that mattered, like maintaining solid relationships and helping others.

Today I still use Twitter. But just to share things that mean something to me, it helps people in one way or another. That’s what it’s supposed to be used for, such a strange idea for me in high school.

Most of the time, our minds are fixed on what we can take out of life rather than what we can give. Gaining power over this matter, more than we care to admit.

It’s only when we see our need to be selfless that we let go of the worries that are.

love does not reject

What prevents us from loving people who are different from us? If the fact that someone looks different makes me avoid them, I have a problem. This is not Love.

In love, there is compassion, there is empathy, there is affection.

Now, while many would argue that this is instantaneous, I would say otherwise. It takes time to overcome certain phobias and preconceived assumptions. It takes a process, a necessary one.

Love is often confusing.

Think of it from the perspective of a family (any family) or a relationship (any relationship). People don’t always say things we agree with or do things that fit our standards.

But does love just end because of that? Of course.

It is growth that we should seek, not perfection. Growth strengthens and builds, encourages and lifts others when they fall. The same is true of love.

Also, uncomfortable as it may be, he is willing to let go of a selective pseudo-love. People are different, we cannot ignore that. But that’s what makes it all so beautiful.

These kinds of realities stretch us to our absolute limits, revealing what some of us are not used to experiencing: the idea that love must be intrinsically directed and expressed for everyone. Because love remains committed and strong.

SEE TOO:

10 reasons to open your arms to change in your life