Total disconnection: the tool to disengage from love

This is one of the most powerful tools that can be used when we separate from our partner. The complete disconnection is the most effective method to detoxify ourselves from the drug of loveto leave the past behind, and to avoid hurting each other during the breakup process.

When we give up alcohol or tobacco, our brain deceives us with a seductive voice who invites us to have a cigarette or a beer (the world is not going to end, no one is going to see you, it really isn’t that serious, this time will be the last time, etc.).

This happens because our nervous system needs nicotine and all the substances that make tobacco addictive, or it needs alcohol, or any other substance that makes us slaves to chemical reward mechanisms that activates the body when we consume them.

Everyone knows that to quit smoking, the best thing is to quit smoking.

And become aware that It’s over forever and a new stage begins.

How to separate from a couple without suffering

Since love is a drug, you have to detoxify in order to get clean, and then comes the task of freeing ourselves from addiction. We have to go through “the monkey” or withdrawal syndrome knowing that there will be good times, bad times, very bad and horrible.

Our brain will try to trick us with a thousand tricks and strategies because it needs serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline, and all those pleasant drugs that our brain makes when it gives and receives love.

We So we have to resist the desire to returnto call, to ask for a last meeting for the umpteenth time, to find excuses to get in touch with the person with whom we have to fall out of love.

I I have always needed months and even a year or two of total disconnection with my partner in breakups, although I have always done it with the complicity of the other person.

We have told ourselves: “I know that you are going to be fine, you know that I am going to be fine, and if something happens to us, our friends and acquaintances inform us. So we let’s not talk, let’s not call each other, let’s not see each other: we both know that we love each other very much and that this is necessary to be able to undo the bond, let go and take flight each one on their own”.

The complete disconnection It should never serve to harm the other personnor should it be used to threaten or blackmail: it is just a therapeutic method that can greatly help the two members of the couple to overcome the duel and get out of habit.

When there are sons and daughters involved, zero contact can be done with the help of family and close friends, that surely they are delighted and delighted to help us to overcome the transition. When there are legal and economic issues involved, professionals (lawyers, advisors, etc.) can help us, as well as people close to us.

If the other person resists to total disconnection, you can agree with yourself and say out loud:

“I disconnect from you without rancor, without hatred, with a lot of love for you and especially for myself.”

It’s just a way to take care of yourselfto protect yourself, to support yourself in hard times.

Falling out of love takes time and you have to be patient, because nostalgia invades us at the least expected momentsand because sometimes we mythologize relationships and see them as greater than they really were.

That’s why It helps a lot when you don’t know anything about the other person. Or when you know she’s fine, but you don’t know if she’s exhausted, if she’s happy, if she already has a new partner, if she’s getting married or if she’s separated again.

If you don’t know anything, there’s no pain: since you only have information about the past, there is no other option than to look ahead and follow the path. We take the memories with us, but our present is already detached from its present, and this is essential to be able to empty ourselves of love and leave room for all the new affections that are to come.

The Total Disconnection it can end when the duel ends and we realize that we are rebuilding our lives, when we free ourselves from desire and pain, when we are already focused on ourselves and our projects, when there is no longer any strong emotion that stirs us inside, when we have accepted that a stage ended, and that another is beginning.

I have reconnected with my ex when I have already felt liberated. When I see myself savoring my present and dreaming of my future I can approach with affection to transform the love I felt into a beautiful friendship.

It was hard for me to learn that I didn’t have to kill what I felt, I just I had to give more space to love, and leave romanticism aside. It’s wonderful to be able to love someone you’ve loved so much, not have to give them up forever, not have to cut them out of your life.

When I think about it, I feel very lucky because I have always been able to put the past behind me.

Sometimes it has taken me years to initiate and maintain total disconnection, but when you do, forgetfulness comes by itself, and memories no longer condition youThey only accompany you like the rest of your memories.

It’s worth it because once you break free, you can fall in love again with other peoplelive other stories, and build other beautiful bonds: Total Disconnection works.