To my future wife: Please read this!

This is a letter to you, my future wife, with an apology in advance.

I’ve always been a natural born romantic and I know that love is one of the most delicious things in life, but the truth is that I’ve built up some emotional barriers in my life because I’m afraid of getting hurt. I confess that I envy those who can use the heart in its true essence, they make it seem so easy to fall in love…

I am proud to be a very sociable and extroverted person, who dares to try new things and who loves to ride a roller coaster just to feel the butterflies in my stomach generated by emotion. But when it comes to romantic relationships, my beautiful… I’m always cautious, watched, I’m always on the back foot.

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This is not attributed to any kind of trust issues or past trauma that led to this, this is my personal fear of being unwanted and a little bit of fear of being left. I want to emphasize again that this isn’t childhood trauma, it’s just a fear built on observation of the modern novel, where people are seemingly easy to replace.

I confess I’m afraid you’ll walk out the door the minute you meet someone better and prettier than I am. This is your choice and I can’t blame you for it, but I dread it. Hill of fear. When it comes to playing with my emotions, I prefer to play it conservatively, because I’m afraid that it won’t work out, that I won’t find my rosy vision of romance and that I’ll end up breaking my face.

So, my future wife, I’m warning you that dealing with me will not be easy — well, at least in the beginning — because it takes a lot of persistence and patience to climb my walls and I hope you are that kind of person. And I’m sorry for pushing you away, it’s not because I don’t like you. It just means I needed a space to assess what we could be.

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But please don’t let this be a means of leaving me — I’d better be on my guard, right?!

I’m sorry if I’m silent sometimes. Please understand that it’s not you, it’s that I’m still learning to deal with certain emotions that I haven’t been able to let go of. So be patient with me, because I really want to open up to you fully, but it takes time.

I’m sorry if I hide from you, it’s just that I want you to find me, because sometimes I get lost and I need you to hold my hand and help me walk, even though it’s hard to hold on.

I’m sorry, my future wife, this will not be an easy task. Love me. But I can promise you one thing: the moment you open the doors of my heart, I will reserve it for you alone. I’m going to love you so much that I’m willing to bet all my chips on that love, because that’s who I am. A daring romantic. I will invest all my strength to make you happy and you will be loved so much because you fought so hard to love me.

But look, I don’t use my heart as a bargain. Only one woman will have space in it. And I hope it’s you.

I need you to understand if I sometimes seem distant and cold, that’s just me protecting myself from possible injury. And I’m sorry in advance if it hurts you along the way. Please excuse me. Just be patient with me, because I want to love you. I will love you.

And I hope you will always be there standing at the doors of my heart in joy or sorrow, because I promise you that as time goes on, everything will get much better.

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