To date or not to date someone who already has children?

When deciding to enter into a relationship with someone who already has children, it is important to understand that parent-child relationships are eternal, so you will need to learn to live with your stepchildren peacefully.

Before diving headlong into this story, it is worth considering a few factors.

Do you wish to have your own children?

At the beginning of the relationship, you may not think about it, but as time goes on, when the relationship is strengthened and you start talking about marriage, don’t forget to bring up the topic of “motherhood”. If your boyfriend already has children from previous marriages, and you still intend to be a mother, find out what he thinks about new children to avoid future disagreements.

split time

From the moment you accept being in a relationship with a man who already has children, you need to be aware that they play an important role in your boyfriend’s life – and will be that way forever. Getting angry, blackmailing and any kind of attitude of that kind will not bring positive results. Understand that you will have to share the cat’s time with the children.

The kids and the ex

Probably your boyfriend will be in constant contact with the children’s mother, for natural reasons. Avoid arguing with her, even if the temptation is great. It is also not recommended to make jealous scenes every time they meet, because this will be frequent. If she teases, don’t respond. Don’t lose your temper and especially don’t fight with him because of his ex.

Also, maintaining a good relationship with the children is critical for your relationship to work, and living at war with their mother is not the best way to win them over.

Each thing at its time

It is possible that he will hesitate to introduce you to his children at first. This is because he is afraid that they will get attached and then the relationship will not work out. Parents tend to protect their offspring from unnecessary suffering. Understand this and don’t pressure you to meet them. He will take the initiative when he judges the best moment.

If his children are teenagers, there is another aggravating factor: he may be afraid of their reaction when he introduces a new girlfriend. Give it time and leave him free to decide when to do it.

After proper introductions, do not force an immediate approach. With children, especially, this attitude can have the opposite effect. Let things happen naturally so your new stepchildren can approach you when they are comfortable with you.

Don’t want to play the role of mother

Even if your relationship with the children is great, or if you disapprove of the way they are raised, remember that you are not the mother. Make it clear to both your boyfriend and his kids that you don’t want to play her part. Set limits, especially when they are in your house, but don’t be too pushy – and avoid giving them punishments and punishments on your own, it’s best to talk to their father before any more severe action.

If you eventually decide to enter this relationship, keep in mind that a harmonious relationship with his children is largely up to you. It is up to you not to allow your relationship to be damaged by fights and disagreements.