To be good with others, I must first be good with myself.

Being good with yourself is priceless. Such psychological craftsmanship requires two achievements: reconciling with the past to extinguish certain disappointments and stopping obsessing about the future to calm anxieties. Feeling good is, above all, learning to think appropriately, focusing on a present where we can shape an internal peace that no one should disturb.

Surely we all agree with these statements. However, why is it so difficult for us to find this internal balance where we feel full, where we enjoy what we have and what characterizes us? Whether we want it or not, there is always something wrong, something that bothers us and prevents us from experiencing lasting well-being.the one that does not expire and remains firm no matter the winds or tides.

The world of psychology has always focused its efforts on providing us with that same objective.. However, and it must be said, his beginnings were somewhat complex. For a long time, his theories and strategies sought to understand almost exclusively the most pathological universe. It was not until the late 70s, when figures like Martin Seligman or Aaron T. Beck generated revolutionary and inspiring change.

Martin Seligman, known for his studies on depression and learned helplessness, thought it was necessary to direct the field of psychology towards a new aspect: happiness. Aaron T. Beck, for his part, a pioneer in cognitive therapy, also taught us something essential: To be good with oneself, a certain positive filter is necessary when looking outwards… and also inwards.

Acceptance, key to personal well-being

Epictetus said in his “Manual for Life” that people often insist on wanting life to conform to our desires. It is an almost childish endeavor, and because it is impossible, it is capable of generating great frustration, which is why whoever was the most representative Stoic of his time recommended that we simply learn to desire things as they are.

The art of being good with yourself is therefore the practice of acceptance. Now, acceptance is not synonymous with passivity or resignation. The trick, in reality, is easier than it seems and requires us to invest our efforts in a series of achievements:

Accept the negative side of things as soon as they happen to give yourself a chance to take control and generate changes. For example, it is essential that we are able to quickly perceive our limiting and negative thoughts before they manage to completely dominate our mind and our approaches.Accept what you are, accept your past and present history, accept that person who is reflected in your mirror every day. with their strengths and weaknesses and try to validate yourself without having to wait for others to do it for you.

Being good with yourself means knowing how to practice a type of acceptance where we have active control over our thoughts.. What surrounds us and even the people who are part of our immediate context may not always act as we wish. However, none of this should exasperate us, because if there is calm inside, if there is self-love and balance, there is no cloud that can extinguish the sun within us.

Being good with yourself, the art of personal appreciation

Personal appreciation is an exercise as useful as it is unknown. One can discover it over time, just when you realize that you have been neglecting it for a long time and have the feeling that it is almost like that pawn on a chess board, initially of little value and that no one remembers. We want to be the “Lady”, but to do so it is necessary to remember what we are worth and what role we play in the game of life.

We can achieve all this through intelligent personal appreciation, that is, by feeling like participants in everything we do and satisfied with every act we carry out. In this way, and if before we talked about having greater control over our thoughts, now It is time to learn to value ourselves through our daily dynamics.

Let’s look at some examples.

Being good with yourself means being select with the people we choose, with those who will be part of our journey.Being good with oneself also means having a sense of self-efficacy, appreciating ourselves for our successes and small daily achievements.It also means being consistent with what we say and do, with what we desire and what we carry out.

Likewise, we cannot neglect something important: Being okay with who you are and what you have is primarily related to comfort. Because the feeling of freedom and agility that we appreciate in some people, even in ourselves, comes from the lack of weight on their backs.

Nothing is as satisfying as that feeling, knowing that there are no burdens from yesterday or chains that others place at our feet to hinder our movements and opportunity for growth. Let us not therefore neglect this art of being good with ourselves, a practice that requires great will and determination on our part.

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