Emotionally absent parents

There are various situations that can lead a father or mother to leave their children’s lives, but, How many repressed emotions can children of emotionally absent parents have? Why does mom have to make up extraordinary stories about dad to avoid hurting her children and vice versa?

Emotionally absent parents They are parents who, beyond their physical presence, they do not execute any function, delegating authority, setting limits, care and emotional support to your partner. They act as indirect parents and cause a psychological absence capable of causing different emotional wounds in the child.

Emotionally absent fathers leave marks on their children., such as lack of law or authority, or a negative identification with the father or mother figure. The fact of growing up next to a maternal or paternal figure who, despite being there, is incapable of giving affection or recognition, leaves the heart of a child empty who is laying the foundations to build his world.

What if they escape?

A kindergarten teacher observed that a girl in her class was strangely sad and thoughtful.

– What’s bothering you? – he asked him.

To which the girl responded:

– My parents!

– Dad spends the entire day working so that I can get dressed, fed, and go to the best school in the city. He also works overtime so he can send me to university one day. And my mom spends the day cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing and shopping so I don’t have to worry.

– So what is the problem? – said the teacher.

– I’m afraid they’ll try to escape – answered the girl.

Consequences of growing up with emotionally absent parents

Children who grow up with emotionally absent parents are more likely to develop behavioral problems. These problems are often a shield that children use to protect their deepest feelings of abandonment, fear and insecurity.

In these parenting styles, a emotional detachment that generates insecurity when establishing relationships. There is mistrust and, therefore, the idea of ​​projecting a great emotional burden on someone generates fear of being betrayed, of not being recognized or, what is worse, of feeling ignored.

All of these gaps can lead children raised in these absent environments to become emotionally dependent adults. not dare to cut certain ties even if they are negative, for fear of abandonment or feeling alone. They prefer to hold on to the person, even if it is not convenient for them, than to have to lose someone again.

This parenting model tends to establish toxic relationships with other people.. In his need to find affection and a father or mother figure, the person can integrate into an undesirable and toxic social nucleus from which he no longer wants or can no longer leave.

Feelings of hostility are usually constant when interacting with others or with oneself., always on the defensive, waiting for the attack. This, without a doubt, is one of the many signs of having emotionally absent parents.

With you but without you

Although parents sometimes have no other option than to spend a large amount of time outside the home and away from their children, it is possible to maintain that necessary emotional connection. It is advisable that the little time you spend with them is exclusively for them, in body and mind. It is a parent-child connection, the most significant in a person’s history.

It is necessary for the good emotional education of children to avoid thinking about paying bills, shopping, among others, during that time. The essential thing is to be connected and at the same time take advantage of moments like a meal where everyone can be present, or play a little with your children, whatever they prefer.

There are many activities that do not require an excessive investment of time., such as helping them cook, setting the table, arranging things in the house, going for a walk, watching a movie, going to a game room or going to a park. Everything will depend on the quality and the connection that occurs with them.

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