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Tips to stop suffering when dating or marriage ends

We can divide the world between two types of people: those who have already suffered from the end of a relationship and those who will still suffer. The popularly known ′′ elbow pain ′′ is common and should not be despised. 🇧🇷No one feels sadness or suffers because they want to. what you feel is real”, says Professor Pedro Calabrez, a researcher at the Laboratory of Clinical Neurosciences at Escola Paulista de Medicina.

Although the cliché ‘time heals all’ is true (believe me: no matter how painful the pain may seem, it will pass), there are measures that can be taken to speed up or ease the process, even if some of them are not easy to carry out. O awesome.club pored over studies and expert interviews to give you some tips for getting through this difficult period.

understanding the process

When a relationship comes to an end, a structure called the dorsal anterior cingulate gyrus is activated in the brain, which has one of its functions to mediate pain. That’s why the sadness caused by the end of a relationship or a marriage seems to trigger something physical, not just emotional. Since pain is an alert the brain sends that something is wrong and needs attention, it makes sense that it also happens when the heart is injured.

Physical activity, your best friend

When exercising, endorphins are released, a chemical that relieves pain. If physical pain and that of the end of the relationship are similar from a scientific point of view, it is natural that when you put your body to move more intensely, you also feel relief in the broken heart. In this way, you will be able to work more efficiently, gain motivation and energy. It will also help to get through that “time, which heals everything” faster. Run, swim, do weight training. What to prefer.

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Don’t look for memories, turn the page

Don’t feed that desire of yours that the relationship will come back. If it’s over, treat it like an end. Forget photos, WhatsApp messages. Don’t go on your ex’s page to see what he/she is doing. First: you can create bad stories that don’t correspond to reality. And it will only fuel the pain even more and prolong the time it takes for everything to get back to normal. In short: cut contact for real. If you can’t do it naturally, use the famous ‘block’.

Drinking won’t solve the problem

It’s okay, nobody is made of iron and we are not going to take away the right to drown our sorrows and forget about suffering for a few hours or a night. But resorting to alcohol as a way to get through the pain can make things worse. According to a study published by the magazine “Men’s Health”, 26% of men resort to drinking when facing the end of a relationship. A part of them may end up facing alcoholism afterwards.

Don’t diet based on sadness

“At least I’m losing weight.” There are those who see weight loss as a positive aspect of pain at the end of a relationship. It may look good in the mirror, but it’s bad for your body and can backfire. “With an uncontrolled and monitored diet, you lose nutrients that are important in combating pain, including emotional pain,” says Rachel Sussman, a psychotherapist specializing in relationships and master of psychology from New York University. In case you don’t feel hungry, look for easy foods to eat, like soups, and make an effort, as if it were a medicine.

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According to American nutritionist Marissa Lippert, studies already indicate that healthy fats, found in foods such as avocado, açaí and salmon, help to improve mood and a sense of well-being, because they contain Omega 3, which is also important for maintaining good cholesterol levels. .

Be careful not to ‘addict’ the pain

Believe me, the pain from the breakup can last less time than you imagine. A study published by the “Journal of Experimental Social Psychology” followed 70 college students. The 26 who ended relationships during the studies believed it would take 20 weeks to get over it. It took an average of 10 weeks. It is important to pay attention not to allow that, even when the pain goes away, you continue to think that you are still embracing it.

start meditating

There are already a good number of studies that prove that meditation helps in relieving physical and emotional pain, in addition to controlling stress and anxiety. If you’ve never had contact, there are a number of apps that help from the basics to more advanced levels. On YouTube it’s also easy to find explanatory videos for guided meditation, when you just follow the guidance of an announcer.

Now we want to hear from you: if you’ve ever gone through a moment of suffering due to the end of a relationship, what helped you to overcome it? Do you have any tips to share with our readers? O awesome.club wants to know your story!

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