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Three tips to overcome lovesickness

Love sickness is characterized because it involves deep sadness and great hopelessness.which originates from the impossibility of fully living a relationship with someone one loves.

It may be that that other person has never loved you, or that they did, but that their feeling ended. You are then left in a situation in which you cannot resign yourself, but neither can you achieve what you want. This situation is also known as “despite.”

“The worst way to miss someone is to sit next to them and know that you can never have them.”

-Gabriel Garcia Marquez-

The three stages of lovesickness

Like almost everything in life, Love sickness also entails a process of reflection, internalization and growth. For this reason, neurologist Leonardo Palacios states: “Despite is a feeling, in general, of sadness; and it has three phases: denial, guilt and acceptance.”

In the opinion of this expert, Denial is characterized by trying to recover what was lost or part of what was lost. Guilt, for its part, is characterized by seeking someone responsible for what happened. Finally, acceptance implies consent, approval and understanding of the emotional breakup.

However, it is worth clarifying that These three phases or stages are not always experienced and overcome satisfactorily.. This ends up hindering and hindering the normal development of a person in their social and emotional life.

“You suffer, you cry, you claim, without realizing that whoever you ask for caresses has no hands.”

-Alejandro Jodorowsky-

How to overcome lovesickness

Next, We give you three tips that will help you find the way to overcome this lovesickness and continue with your life.

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Understand that loves have a beginning and an end

Perhaps the most disconcerting thing about love is that, like so many events in life itself, it has a beginning and an end. Even the greatest and most complete loves in the world have to end., so be it with death. There you reach the end of the story and this causes enormous pain.

Overall, it is not necessary that death occurs to understand that, In general, and more so today, loves are ephemeral and temporary.. Perhaps this finds its reason for being in the dynamism and personality of contemporary generations: everything is fast, everything passes, nothing lasts… The problem is that sometimes a story that is apparently born to end soon, ends up getting stuck in the heart. .

No matter what the expectations are: love is always uncertain territory. And, for one reason or another, it is certain that when there is love, there is also pain to some extent, because sooner or later, due to “A” or “B” circumstance, it always ends. It is an ineluctable reality.

One nail does not remove another nail

Maybe without really knowing why, that “desire” to be with someone makes In some cases we change partners like someone changes clothes. And when a person does not properly grieve a previous emotional breakup, instead of solving one problem, he will add another to his life.

Because “one nail doesn’t pull out another nail,” as it is popularly said. Rather, what it can do is sink it deeper and deeper and thereby make the wound larger. The problem is that we can enter a chain of new loves and new breakupswhich in the end only leave a deep feeling of emptiness, if not depression or anxiety.

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Rebuilding your emotional life is absolutely positive. But to love again in a healthy way, you must learn from past experiences. Without that, it is clear what is going to happen… As they say: “he who does not know history is condemned to repeat it” and even more so, if it is his own history.

Great loves are not forgotten overnight

Lovesickness is a difficult experience. But it is important to live that state or, at least, experience it on different occasions. This allows us to grow and mature. Besides, You must not forget that true learning is not in books (which are certainly a great support), but in life experiences. Needless to say: well lived.

We cannot forget that pain is a sensation that we avoid. I’m not saying that you become fond of suffering, far from it, but that you are aware that sometimes it works as a kind of “pedagogy” of life. Something implicit in the wisdom of the universe. An opportunity to get to know each other better and remember that In the deprivation of something we love, there are also many valuable lessons.

We have to give time to the time. A building is not built overnight and neither are great loves, or great forgetfulness.

Love experiences are intense and complex, which is why it is necessary to digest them. AND It is important to control the anxiety caused by the discomfort caused by a loss.to be able to find the lessons of that situation.

There is no magic recipe to cure lovesickness, but think that if you are going through this difficult transition, the best thing is that you make an effort to be tolerant with yourself, with the loved person who is no longer here and with the deep dynamics of life, which have their own times and their own surprises at the same time. end of the road.

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