The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference.

Indifference comes to a relationship slowly but relentlessly. It is a bitter silence where uncertainty lives, the longing for what was once daily and complicit and that now we lack. Because the opposite of love is not hate, but that feeling capable of breaking us into a thousand fragments called indifference.

Relationships “die” for many reasons, we know it and there is no doubt that they all involve a high burden of suffering for which no one is prepared. However, we could say that it is precisely that emptiness, It is that passive and cold attitude of the other person towards us that usually generates greater despair and anxiety..

Love usually has three enemies: indifference, which takes our breath away little by little, indecision that prevents us from moving forward, and disappointment that ends everything almost instantly.

Each of us can react in a way to rejection or betrayal, but…How to face the emotional emptiness of indifference? It is not easy, therefore, to always try to find a reason, a reason for this emotional distancing. Although in reality There is not always a reason for heartbreak, sometimes it just goes away.drowns like a twilight sun that is left breathless…

Indifference causes serious side effects

The health of a couple, like any living organism in need of vital food, needs to strengthen its structure, its relationship.. All of this is achieved through these daily rituals, lined with complicity, in which the gestures that connect us, the words that reinforce us, the caresses that recognize us and common spaces inhabited by a much-needed physical and emotional closeness are inscribed.

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However, Sometimes, almost without knowing why, we make use of silence or non-intervention, delegating to the other person to do things., say and act. We begin to take for granted feelings and even answers to questions we no longer ask. Little by little, small things are prioritized and big aspects are neglected.

If we have to talk about an expert In terms of emotional relationships, it is almost inevitable not to mention John Gottman and his theory of the “4 horsemen of the apocalypse”, about the reasons that lead a couple towards the abyss of estrangement.

You won’t be surprised to know that Among the causes of distancing, in addition to criticism, contempt and defensiveness, there is also “indifference.”, that evasive behavior that looks the other way and that creates great abysses of uncertainty. All of this, all of this emotional emptiness and emotional coldness generates serious consequences from the “indifferent” to the “undifferentiated” that we must know.

Psychological consequences of indifference

But what, then, are the psychological consequences of indifference? Above all, our partner’s indifferent attitude generates confusion and fear. Love between two people needs the security of affections and customs with which to sustain the bond itself.

When our expectations about that bond are no longer met, uncertainty and restlessness appear. Two dimensions before which our brain will react with emotional stress and anxiety.

Furthermore, when we stop receiving that emotional feedback, that subtle and perfect exchange where the other’s responses reaffirmed and strengthened us, we become “paralyzed.” We wait, waiting for the situation to change, something as exhausting as it is destructive.

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If we make the mistake of interpreting indifference as something that “we ourselves have generated,” we lose even more control of the situation. Our self-esteem declines and we end up in a very dangerous state of helplessness.

I no longer feel pain, now my heart is more barren than ever because it has resigned itself. Now I only feel indifference, which is the most absolute and devastating lack of feelings.

How to deal with emotional emptiness

As they say, indifference kills, and although many define it as a passive attitude that gradually makes its way into a relationship, in reality, it is not entirely true. Emotional emptiness is a very active enemy that must be identified early to prevent that bond from being established and undone, that union with the person we love, or with ourselves when we lose our self-esteem.

A relationship is maintained as long as there is personal satisfaction as well as reciprocity.. If we feel good, we will be able to invest in others because we give the same as we receive. The moment that harmonious circle of reciprocity is broken, it immediately affects the quality of the commitment, our passion and our intimacy.

In a couple, just one person who is indifferent is enough, and indifference is sensed, palpable, and suffered. There is no point in waiting for things to improve, there is no point in raising false hopes. You have to act.

Sometimes it is enough to make small changes, reach agreements to break the routine which relationships fall into from time to time. Any effort to save the relationship is little. However, if we are fully aware that there is no love or that this situation brings more suffering than happiness, it will be necessary to distance ourselves.

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It is not worth being captive to heartbreak, to the truncated dreams of two strangers who gave everything and in the end, everything came to nothing. Indifference hurts and disconcerts, but time heals it as long as we are brave to walk away when it’s time.when we are still able to remember that we must take care of ourselves.