The love that hurts

Can one or more failures convince us that it is better not to fall in love again? As surprising as it may seem to you, There are many people who think that it is better “not to feel, so as not to suffer.”

What’s more, you may even be one of them, one of those who prefer to protect themselves to avoid falling into possible failure again.

And yet we all know, life is a ladder up which we climb based on triumphs and mistakes, an ascent of learning that on more than one occasion we acquire through suffering.

But sometimes, the risk is worth it and without knowing very well how, we suddenly obtain that gratifying emotional stability that surrounds us with a simple happiness with which, one good day, we can tell ourselves “I’m fine today and I don’t want anything more.”

Suffering from love is something so common that there are many manuals that have been filled with more or less successful attempts to help us face this fear.

Love Hurts,

It is worth daring, but with caution and with a series of dimensions clear. How about we take into account this simple decalogue? Let’s go there.

1. Before loving you, I must love myself

We cannot establish a successful emotional relationship, giving everything for the other person without taking ourselves into account.

Self-knowledge is a form of wisdom that allows us to establish healthy relationships with other people. It is a way of protecting ourselves.

If we give everything for the other person, leaving ourselves in the background, we will be destroying our self-esteem and we will fall, little by little, into frustration.

2. Love is sharing, not just offering

Stable and healthy relationships are made up of two members who build together. and that they contribute in common. The moment there are inequalities in the balance, problems appear.

Wanting is building, not removing, or limiting, let alone offering our entire being to the other person without receiving anything in return.

3. Protect your individuality

Being a couple means doing a lot of our things in common. Even our future projects are already built between two. It is part of the commitment and our emotional ties. However, this does not mean you should neglect your personal growth.

Don’t leave aside your aspirations, your hobbies, your social relationships… everything that enriches you and makes you happy. Growing up as a couple is not at odds with maturing individually.

4. Protect your self-esteem

Self-esteem is like a muscle that you must know how to exercise every day, both in small things and in big decisions.

If we start to give in today, there will come a day when we give in on everything. You have to consider this.

If we set the limits today, the other person will know what to expect. Know Saying “no” is not an act of selfishness, but rather a way of knowing the couple. Something necessary.

5. Apply Emotional Intelligence

It is basic and essential to know how to properly develop your emotional intelligencel.

Knowing how to understand our emotions and those of others, knowing how to manage them, will help us almost every day to face those small daily differences, to maintain a constructive dialogue and understand our partners better.

6. Good communication

Looking at each other face to face to establish an open and constructive dialogue is almost the heart that pumps a stable and healthy couple. There where to be understood and cared for. Respected.

If we manage to establish good communication with our partners, we will be able to face many of our differences and problems. It is worth keeping in mind.

If we cannot “communicate” with a person, it is difficult to maintain a good relationship, whether emotional or friendship.

7. Empathy

Put ourselves in the other person’s shoes to know what hurts him, what he needs or what makes him happy.

Empathy is part of our daily complicity, and that spark with which to establish a healthy and appropriate intimacy with the other.

Putting ourselves in their shoes to read inside them is perhaps one of the best approaches we can demonstrate.

8. Sense of humor

Knowing how to laugh as a couple, knowing how to get the humor out of many situations helps to diffuse many of the problems.

The sense of humor is the spark of everyday life, It is a symbol of intelligence and union between two people who use humor to enjoy themselves without harming themselves or humiliating themselves, but rather to share.

9. Ask yourself if you are happy

This phrase may seem obvious to you. But there are many people who do not see their lives objectively and become accustomed to frustration, dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

We must balance costs and benefits, and if we realize that we feel limited and unhappy, it will be time to start evaluating our situation.

10. It’s never too late

It’s never too late to start again, and even to end something that does not give us happiness.

Surely you know people who have resigned themselves to maintaining a relationship that, far from making them happy, only offers them suffering or dissatisfaction. They tell themselves that it’s too late, that it’s not worth quitting.

Maybe it is because of fear, fear of being alone or the inability to take changes or risks. “Holding on” will gradually break us inside, losing our integrity.