My partner has become overwhelmed

My partner has become overwhelmed. Do you have this thought stuck in your head and you don’t know how to handle the situation? In this article we analyze what may be happening when our partner communicates this message to us, a situation so common in many relationships.

The field of relationships is complex, and finding a person to stay with for the rest of our lives is a complicated task.

Actually, We find ourselves in a world that is constantly changing, and this also includes our relationships.. In fact, the sociologist Zygmunt Bauman already talked about it in his work Liquid modernity. Bauman also introduces other concepts, such as liquid love, referring to the current state of love relationships, which tend more to evaporate than to be maintained over time.

Without further ado, we are going to talk in this article about cHow is this situation experienced, in which our partner tells us that he has become overwhelmed. What are its possible causes? How can we act? Is there a possibility of recovering normality?

My partner has become overwhelmed

We could speak, broadly speaking, of Two types of «burdens» when your partner tells you that he or she is overwhelmed: when it occurs due to circumstances external to the relationship (work and stress, family situations…) and when it occurs due to the relationship itself.

This second case is usually the most worrying, since it is the relationship (sometimes, even us) that is overwhelming our partner. How does this situation manifest itself, within the relationship? Let’s see it.

Manifestations and symptoms

When our partner tells us that they have become overwhelmed by the relationship, this is usually preceded by a change in their attitude, and they have been cold, distant and strange for some time. This change in attitude is usually sudden and inexplicable, at times when we feel that everything is going well. ¿How is this attitude translated? In symptoms such as:

He has less free time (or less time for us).He communicates less, or worse.He starts making excuses to spend less time with us.He claims that nothing is wrong with him. that he is just busier. First symptoms of overwhelm.

Possible causes

There are multiple reasons that can lead your partner to become overwhelmed, although one of the most common (although we don’t like it) is the existence of a third person. Many times, the person meets someone new in his life who makes him regain his hope or simply falls in love, and due to fear or lack of courage, he is unable to tell us, thus resorting to the classics: I’m overwhelmed either I need to be alone for a while.

However, the most common reasons also include:

Jealousy. If we are constantly jealous of our partner, it is likely that we will end up overwhelming them. Well, this feeling leads us to carry out controlling actions, such as checking his cell phone or prohibiting him from seeing his friends.Emotional dependence. Being dependent on our partner makes us desire their physical and emotional closeness at all times; so the separation causes a lot of anguish. However, in the long term, this situation ends up suffocating the other.Not having time and space to cultivate individuality. Dedicating all your time to your partner is a draining attitude. No matter how much love there is, both must have their own space and individual goals. If not, sooner or later they will end up getting tired of each other.

Whatever it is, The important thing is to talk to our partner and clarify things, avoiding panic.. How can we act? We will tell you in the next point.

How can we act?

Before the fearsome My partner has become overwhelmed, What can we do? Before we panic and throw our dignity overboard begging him to stay by our side, we have the option of having a serious conversation with her. Even if we are afraid or hesitant, perhaps it is time to put our cards on the table.

It can help us start with: «What is it that overwhelms you in the relationship?», or «Is there anything I can do, or do you prefer to be alone for a while?». The important thing is to demonstrate that we are able to understand the situation and we will not pressure you to make a decision.

Logically, if we suspect third parties or similar situations, the ideal would be to clarify the situation and prevent them from playing with us. That is, we can understand that the other has become overwhelmed, but If there is a deeper problem, we have the right to know so we can address it..

For their part, if they both want to continue with the relationship, they must find a way to break the routine and try new experiences as a couple. This helps fan the flame of love and can facilitate a new perspective on the relationship.

1. Don’t make the following mistakes

When our partner tells us that he or she has become overwhelmed, it is normal for feelings of fear, anxiety, doubts to come over us… And Many times we make the mistake of chasing the person, trying to win them back, or even begging them to stay with us.which makes it even more overwhelming.

According to Cristina Lago, an expert couple relationship coach, these gestures are best left for when the situation normalizes, in case this happens.

What happens when fear is what is making us act? That our attractiveness is reduced for the other, that it generates overwhelm and that our self-esteem can also be affected.

2. Face the situation

It is not the same to feel that “My partner has become overwhelmed.”» when we are starting a relationship, than when we have been in it for a while. However, there is one thing common in both situations if the stress lasts over time and they give us no hope of returning, and that is that our time is money.

In this situations, The most advisable thing is to accept and assume the situation, applying zero contact with the person. There is a phrase that we can apply to this situation, and it says: “Time is such a wise judge that it does not sentence immediately, but in the end it agrees with whoever is right.”

So time will tell. Surely you will have a thousand questions dancing in your head after this, but it is precisely time that will solve them (when, probably, you no longer need the answers).

3. Respect your space

Allow him to breathe, think and reflect. Sometimes, in moments of overwhelm, it is very necessary for your partner to receive a space for himself, where he or she can connect with his or her desires, with his or her feelings, with his or her thoughts. This time may make him approach the problem from a different perspective.

4. Be understanding

It is normal for us to get overwhelmed, it has happened to everyone at some point. For this reason, the first thing you could do is accept and understand what the other person is going through and have empathy and sensitivity for what they are feeling.

5. Improve communication

Communication is the most basic element of any relationship. Having good communication between both of you during these moments will help you understand and see the situation better. In addition, it will allow them to recognize what each one’s needs are.

6. Get out of the routine

Your partner may be overwhelmed by the routine and daily responsibilities you have as a couple. In these cases it is important to know how to communicate when we feel this way and look for solutions that allow us to explore new activities that break out of the monotony.

Will the relationship work again?

Faced with a fearful «My partner has become overwhelmed», the next thing we ask ourselves is: «Will we be okay again?» There is no concrete answer to this because, as we said, only time and the desire of both will tell.

However, there is one thing we can do to facilitate the process: maintain a firm attitude towards each other, making him understand that we are not going to prolong this situation, and that loses us to the extent that this burden lasts.

Let’s remember that a breakup is not the end of the world. In fact, according to psychologist Jaume Guinot, «“A breakup is the opportunity to find something better.” On the other hand, we must not forget that when our partner’s stress is caused by external factors, and if the relationship is going well, it is normal for them to want to lean on us, and not run away. If this second occurs, perhaps there is something else.

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