The keys to overcoming envy

Envy is an unpleasant emotion that causes unpleasant behaviors and consequences in others.. It is, without a doubt, one of the most frequent emotional problems, and perhaps the least talked about. How does envy act in our lives? Envy is an emotion that involves longing for what the other person has, or wanting to be going through the same situation as the other person. To envy is to desire what the other has.

We can envy a job, a car, a house, a good husband, the charisma of a friend, someone’s physique, etc. everything that we think we do not have and need to obtain to be happy, above all, success and triumph. The goal is always to have “the greatest amount.”.

Where does envy take us?

The act of envy places us on a plane of continuous dissatisfaction and complaint, which slowly destroys us without realizing it. Little by little, our vision is shortened, observing everything through a layer of fog, which does not allow us to see beyond our eyes. For an envious person, one’s own time disappears, dedicating it to the desire for what others have, giving opinions and judging about it, instead of focusing on achieving one’s own dreams.

Alberto Acosta, professor of psychology at the University of Granada, states that “We feel envious when we want to be more than someone. We long for something that another person has and we believe that it is unfair that that person has it and we do not.. Add that the envious usually envy “especially those people who people hold in high esteem, who are admired, who have influence and who have achieved success”.

Envy diverts us from our path, directing our energy towards the wrong path “the other.”, instead of looking to ourselves for the best opportunities. It is therefore a complex and blinding emotion, which makes us forget that we are the protagonists of our lives, turning us into victims who waste time, instead of living well and allowing others to live as they see fit.

As Napoleon Bonaparte said: “Envy is a declaration of inferiority”. But envy, as we will see later, is an avoidable emotion, since we can put it aside if we want, and thus we will stop hurting ourselves and decenter ourselves from our own objectives.

Bad envy and healthy envy

Healthy envy is one in which we recognize that the other has something that we want and that we do not yet have, but that we will do everything possible to get.. That is, we recognize that someone worked that “extra” that we have not done and that we still have to go to get to the same place. It is healthy because it does not bring pain or frustration. It can serve as a drive and inspiration to achieve our goals and objectives.

However, There is another envy that is more unhealthy, since it generates continuous unease, unhappiness, pain and frustration for not being able to have what the other has or has achieved., in such a way that it disables everything important to achieve it. It is a destructive emotion.

This last type of envy blinds people to the value of their own lives, as they refuse to give value to everything they have achieved. They are lives that want to incarnate in other lives, without considering that perhaps if they did so they would not be able to tolerate and go through everything they have endured until they achieve success. A popular saying explains it very well, “If you look at my success, look at my failure too.”

Therefore, it is important to keep in mind that many of the people who are in a privileged place today have been constant and patient, paying the price of working and making an effort, as well as the desire to try to improve a little more every day.

How can we combat it?

Envy is fought worrying about ourselves. Our personal search is what will give us meaning to our lives. Our objectives, our goals, our dreams and purposes will focus our energy and our way of acting. We can turn each other’s achievement into a challenge for ourselves, into a source of inspiration.

It is better to admire than to envy. When we envy, the message we send is that we want to destroy the other, but when we admire we only express that we want to learn as the other achieved. Dreaming, projecting and being a little better every day are the keys that will tell us that limitations are only found in the mind.

Furthermore, we have to be clear that we do not have to compete with anyone, nor prove anything to anyone, we do not even have to reach where the other has arrived. The important thing is that we try to overcome our achievements and our own limits. You have to be the best version of yourself!

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