The habit of assuming and its consequences

What happened? Why did she do it? What are you going to do? If you’re tempted to respond to a similar question with, “Well, I don’t know, but I guess…” it might be time to stop. Assumption may be a mistake.

What do assumptions lead to?

To make an assumption is to take something for granted without bothering to look for evidence to support another explanation or reasoning. It is reaching an explanation and then reinforcing it with your own thoughts and comments that validate it.

The problem is that the person who assumes generally ends up believing that fact “created” by himself. The most serious thing is that, in many cases, he later does not even remember the origin of such a statement.

Therefore, as we see, It is very common that a simple assumption generated by the “simple and innocent habit of talking about others” ends up transformed into a false rumor and, ultimately, a lie.

Assumption can ruin another person’s reputation, because even if you emphasize that you are only expressing your opinion and not a fact, once your statement has gotten off the ground, the part where you said you weren’t sure will most likely be omitted. .

And, something surprising: Even if you don’t discuss your ideas with anyone else, you may still create a distorted image of the person in question in your own mind. And all for a simple and innocent assumption…

Fuel of bad thoughts

Whether the dialogue is with another person or with yourself, you may be feeding a lie, a fallacy directed at another person or at yourself. Even if the lie is not taken as true, it can generate some emotions and emotions are very difficult to erase.

Think about the feelings generated by the following assumptions:

“I’m sure she’s being unfaithful.” “Most likely, he abuses the children.” “I guess his words aren’t sincere. I don’t think he told us the truth.”

Why do we always think the worst?

Unfortunately, Most of the assumptions we make are negative. Human beings have the tendency to give greater importance to bad news. But why does this happen? One theory says that this is due to the survival instinct, because throughout the development of human beings, more attention was paid when someone said: “that snake is poisonous,” than when someone said “what a beautiful sunset!”

According to this theory, this led us to give more weight to negative things and, therefore, assign them more credibility. In other words, Unconsciously and to preserve ourselves, we are predisposed to think the worst about other people…

Commonly, We tend to assume that many of the things that happen have to do with us personally. (although the truth is that in most cases we do not even figure in history…), that others know what we want or desire, or that others will react the same as us.

None of these assumptions are productive and acting based on any of them can be devastating for everyone involved, including ourselves.

Let assumption not replace communication

What do you do if you’re really worried about what someone did or why they did it? That’s very simple, ask him! A dialogue with the person involved is a hundred times more productive than an internal dialogue or with a third party. If you simply make an assumption, you are robbing the person involved of the opportunity to express themselves.

When you know things for sure, you can act with a base of reliable information. If you don’t feel comfortable asking directly, you’ll need to evaluate whether it’s really your concern. If not, wouldn’t it be better to deal with other matters?

Don’t let assumptions hinder your personal growth.

Assumptions do not always have to do with other people’s behavior. There is another type of assumptions that can become a great obstacle in our own path.

When we assume that we are not going to like something we have never tried, or that we will not be able to learn something new, or that we will never be able to visit that place we dream of so much, etc., We are building a “wall” that will block us from entering new experiences. Sometimes we assume that traditions are inescapable and that there is no different way of doing things. This stifles our creativity and turns us into routine and stagnant people.

Trying to dismiss those intrusive thoughts can be difficult. Therefore, the first step is to be aware that you do it regularly and the consequences that this entails.

In conclusion, We should avoid assumptions, whether about ourselves or other people. Instead, let’s check. Let’s ask. Let’s find out. Let’s experiment. Thus, we can save and save ourselves a few disappointments and prevent harmful and unnecessary rumors from being generated and spread.