The feeling of failure: a painful emotion

Who has not made a mistake? Who has not felt the feeling of failure? The truth is We have all felt defeated at some point in our lives.

The feeling of failure is usually intense, vital, painful and, sometimes, beneficial for personal development. You suffer from failure, but you learn many things from it. if this experience is faced with determination, courage and the will to overcome.

The feeling of failure is a bitter experience

What is failure? We are talking about a feeling associated with not achieving expected objectives in the short or long term. It is accompanied by a bitter, unpleasant and frustrating experience. We have all had to face that experience. It is part of life, the other side of the coin, the other side of success.

In this sense, It is good to distinguish between the feeling of failure when faced with a real failure or setback and the feeling that occurs for no reason.. Thus, the first refers to the experience of a failure, where it is important to qualify some aspects: the intensity, the coherence with the event that triggers it and the way of reacting.

On the other hand, it is normal for the person, after the initial moments, to reason about the reasons for his failure. Then he will be able to overcome it and prevent it from happening again. An excessively intense reaction that lasts too long or becomes unproductive is abnormal.

Emotions associated with feelings of failure

Basically there are six common emotions associated with failure:

Frustration. You feel it because you haven’t reached your goal.Gonna. Anger and rage appear, obfuscation because you have been deprived of what you wanted to achieve.Disappointment. It can be directed towards you and others.Blame. When faced with failure, you think you could have done something better and you feel guilty in whole or in part for the negative result.Resentment. You may resent other people who you thought could have helped you and didn’t.Fear. Fear can arise across all emotions, since in moments of failure you feel that everything is lost and that there will be nothing to calm those intense emotions. You may also be afraid of trying again and failing again.

Our personality influences how we manage failure

When reacting to failure, Personality is one of the main factors to take into account. In this sense, strong and mature personalities are characterized by putting into action all their defense mechanisms and overcoming setbacks positively. The weakest and most insecure personalities tend to break down facing relatively small obstacles. They need much more support from outside to overcome them.

On the other hand, there are feelings of failure that are not justified: are the imaginary failures. Things can go relatively well for us and we feel dejected and sunk, unable to resolve the slightest setback. There are times when we have the feeling of failing and having failed in a general way or in something very specific. We are referring, thus, to an imaginary failure. This feeling of failure stems from feelings of inferiority and worthlessness or accompanies depressive streaks.

And it is that, During depression, there is a vital collapse that can be accompanied by this sensation and that falls within the field of pathology.. There are no valid arguments: the starting point of this feeling is neither real nor logical.

The failure syndrome

The failure syndrome is the permanent feeling of having failed, of not having achieved anything. The unsuccessful person feels that they have no possibilities. This syndrome affects the past, the present and remains in the future.

It can be the result of both real and imaginary reasons, but The result is always that the person feels dissatisfied with themselves and their life.. An almost expected reaction is to sink into frustration, resignation and abandonment.

This is one of the most discouraging experiences that can be suffered. and the person becomes an inoperative being. The person plunges into sadness and the inability to overcome himself.

The unsuccessful person loses initiative, the ability to fight, resistance to eventualities, falls into depressive phases and may wish to die. Not infrequently, alcoholism and drug addiction become the only escape routes.

Overcoming failure is possible

In the face of failure, there are those who feel sunken and defeated and those who draw strength from weakness and quickly get back on track. Failure is not the end of the world, nor the end of what has been failed. This is the starting point of improvement.

We must analyze failure and discover its causes. These causes may be excessive goals, little or little effort invested, poor preparation, excessive demands, etc. The best thing is for one to know their own mistakes, correct and overcome their failures and plan new strategies of behavior and action.

Ten also presents the following suggestions when trying to overcome failure

Feel your emotions. When you feel like you have failed, do not repress your feelings, rather observe them, allow them to manifest and speak. Listen to what they have to tell you.Accept what happened. After the emotional avalanche of failure passes, accept with love and compassion what happened.Practice positive reframing. Discover the positive aspects of the situation. Look at it and consider different ways to describe it. Identify your negative thoughts. With failure comes self-recrimination and punishment. Learn to identify some common negative thought patterns so you don’t let them sink you further into the pit of disappointment.Have realistic thoughts about failure. in ua review on the reactions to failure it was found that the attribution style more positive It was an important factor in people’s resilience to the emotional distress caused by failure. Ask yourself what you can learn. Failure can be a source of lessons if you are open to listening to it. Did you make a mistake? Did you fail? Think about what you could do differently next time.Create a plan to move forward. Use your failures to rethink the way you are moving forward and to create new alternatives.

Remember, failures can be overcome. The feeling of failure is temporary and it is in our hands to allow this situation to establish itself permanently.. Thus, with certain actions we only learn after executing them poorly.

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