The dangerous allure of clandestine love

Love grows and burns more strongly when accompanied by a dose, large or small, of impossibility.. Passions are never so ardent as when they are crossed by some prohibition. And if the secret has to be kept, so much the better. There is a dangerous charm in clandestine loves…

But just as the insect that flutters around the flame sometimes ends up getting burned, so too Forbidden loves can end badly. Sometimes they are simply followed by a romantic goodbye, but on most occasions they leave one of those involved with big wounds that take a long time to heal.

“And for lovers, their desperate love may be a crime… but never a sin.”

-José Ángel Buesa-

Clandestine loves

If a love must remain secret, in general, it is because there is a very powerful reason behind it. Most of the time, if not always, what is behind it is a third party with whom there is a loving commitment. Usually clandestine loves are loves where there are at least three people involved.. Sometimes four. Sometimes more.

A prior commitment is not the only reason for love affairs to become clandestine. Sometimes what is involved is some convenience, as happens with famous people who must keep their relationships hidden so as not to lose followers. Sometimes there are other types of pressures, family, work or social, that require secrecy in the relationship.

These types of loves, in any case, are clandestine because they are prohibited in some way. AND It is precisely that element of prohibition that adds a special seasoning to those affections.. The relationship cannot develop in a “normal” way. It is necessary to inaugurate a kind of “parallel life” to maintain that love.

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The charm of the forbidden

Every prohibition is at the same time an invitation. This is so because in the human mind the proscription activates desire. Don’t you feel more interested in a film if they tell you that it has been censored in several countries? Don’t you observe with greater interest that door that says “No entry”? Don’t you long to be one of those who can pass?

The forbidden exerts a natural charm because it allows us to see, in the foreground, something that one lacks.. Thus, it is precisely from this lack (which becomes evident with the prohibition) that desire is born. Therefore, prohibition and desire are the face and seal of the same coin.

When it comes to love, things get even more effervescent. Prohibition becomes fuel for the flame, although she is very shy at first. Obstacles become stimuli and risks end up being seen as appealing challenges. The same danger of the relationship falls in love. But, be careful, maybe from playing with fire so much we end up consuming ourselves in it.

The danger of clandestine loves

The first danger that a clandestine love faces is, obviously, that it will be discovered. It is assumed that if it is hidden it is because the consequences of revealing it can be very serious. There is nothing hidden between heaven and earth and there are very few cases in which the truth remains a secret for long.

Of course, many lovers also experience these revelations with a certain emotion. They betray the commitment they have with their partner, but at the same time they unconsciously want to “be caught” in action. It is part of a convoluted game of testing the limit of the official couple or belittling them to settle those scores that every relationship has pending to a greater or lesser degree.

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The second great danger is that one literally plays with one’s own and other people’s feelings.. The true and only cause of the relationship may lie in the charm of risk. It is not love that unites, but the intention to challenge what is forbidden. The bad thing is that in that “game”, almost always, everyone involved gets hurt to some extent.

Finally, The danger of clandestine loves is that, when the time comes, they neither allow us to grow nor make our lives more profitable.. They end up being chapters in which we behave like children who do not want to obey. But when you do the math clearly, what remains is simply having savored the charm of the forbidden… And a lot of time wasted in that relative pleasure.