The importance of emotional regulation

Often, Many of our daily problems are affected by failures in emotional regulation, having both personal and social consequences. A bad answer, a sudden impulse, incomprehension of another person’s feelings or simply ignoring what they have told us.

In some way, each experience we live is impregnated with an emotional atmosphere that we cannot forget, especially if we want to be happy and build healthy bonds. Now, what can we do to manage our emotions?

The answer lies in emotional regulation. Is about learning to maintain, increase or suppress an ongoing emotional state with the aim of achieving a goal: emotional balance.

According to Rafael Bisquerra, doctor in Educational Sciences and graduate in Psychology and Pedagogy, emotional regulation is the ability to manage emotions appropriately. And to do this, it is important to be aware of the relationship that exists between thought, emotion and behavior, in addition to having good coping strategies and the ability to generate positive emotions.

As we see, Being aware of emotions and knowing how to regulate them on a daily basis are totally necessary aspects. Thanks to this, we will develop a series of competencies and skills that will help us promote both personal well-being and that of others. Let’s delve into the wonderful art of regulating emotions.

emotional awareness

emotional awareness It is the initial and fundamental support to carry out a process of emotion regulation.

Learning to regulate emotions consists, first of all, of taking charge of them, accepting them and becoming aware that they are present in us and in our daily lives, providing us with information.

According to Bisquerra (2009), “emotional awareness It is the ability to become aware of one’s own emotions and those of others, including the ability to capture the emotional climate of a given context”

So, be more aware It involves identifying and adequately recognizing the emotional experience that we are experiencing.where observation is one of the most important tools, more specifically the exercise of observing yourself.

And once the emotion is recognized, give it a name. In some way, whether verbal or non-verbal, expressing emotions will reinforce initial awareness.

The more open we are to perceiving our emotions, the greater ability we will have to perceive those of others.

emotional regulation

All emotions are necessary and play a role in our lives.. Therefore, an emotion does not have to be classified as better or worse, but rather each one expresses a different emotional experience.

Basic emotions, for example, have an adaptive function in people. AND In order to regulate them properly, it is important that we let them fulfill their purposewithout harming others or ourselves.

In other words, To develop greater awareness and emotional regulation, it is necessary to know what emotions there are and what they are for.. To do this, we present a list of basic emotions and their main function:

Happiness: It is associated with pleasure and happiness and its function is to promote beneficial behaviors for oneself and encourage affiliation between people.Sadness: It usually appears in the face of a loss or adverse situation by which we are overwhelmed. Its function is to protect us and help us recover from the pain caused by these situations. It also allows us to seek social support when we need it most.Disgust: consists of a rejection response to stimuli that we find unpleasant or repugnant. Its functions include: removing us from harmful situations, promoting healthy and hygienic habits, and modulating social samples.Fear: It is the emotional response to imminent danger. Its main function is to make us react to escape effectively from any danger. Likewise, it promotes avoidance behaviors in the face of dangerous situations.Surprise: It occurs in the face of an unexpected, novel or unknown situation. Its main function is to make the organism adjust to unforeseen change in the environment.Anger or anger: This is a negative emotional response produced in frustrating situations. Among its main functions are: facilitating the development of defense responses; raise our level of activation and increase the vigor of our behaviors.

Distinction between emotion and response

For its part, to achieve adequate emotional regulation, It is necessary to distinguish the emotion experienced and the resulting action or consequent thereof.

For example, feeling anger may be legitimate in a situation of aggression, but what is not legitimate is acting with violence. Hence, the importance of knowing how to express emotion and regulate it.

Having said that, A crucial aspect of emotional regulation is the development of coping skills.which allow us to deploy the most appropriate responses in adverse situations.

One of the most used strategies in therapy to achieve this goal is cognitive reappraisal; where the person must recreate alternative thoughts in certain situations. In this way, by changing what the person thinks, the emotional response generated by the event is also changed.

For example, making a phone call to a loved one and having them not answer can make us think that they do not want to answer us or that something bad happened to them. In the first case, we may get angry, while in the second we may worry.

However, We can consider other alternatives that change the direction of our thoughts and emotions., like thinking that he is busy and that he will call us back in the future. In this case, we are making a more appropriate emotional response to the situation.

In sum, regular means to put in order, look for the appropriate measure as when we dive and regulate the air during the time we are underwater or when we adjust our voice when singing. The same goes for emotions.

The benefits of emotional regulation

emotional regulation It will allow us to control impulses, channel unpleasant emotions, tolerate frustration and know how to wait for gratification (Renom, 2007).

On the one hand, emotional regulation is aimed at moderating expressions that appear disproportionate or inappropriate; and on the other hand, it is oriented towards the motivation and vision of other less common emotions, which lead to well-being.

In most occasions, physical exercise, art or the cultivation of hobbies create emotions that regulate and channel the potentialities of people.

Although the regulation process will not completely change the emotion, it will allow us to introduce some changes in terms of its duration and intensity, since Being able to regulate emotions requires great personal work and responsibility.

According to various studies, emotional regulation skills show positive effects for the improvement of various domains related to personal, social and work functioning.

Specifically, it has been confirmed that High regulation skills are linked to better quality social relationships and subjective well-being (Extremera, Fernández-Berrocal and Durán, 2003; Gross, Richards and John, 2006; John and Gross, 2004; Lieble and Snell, 2004; Salovey, 2001).

Being aware of our own emotions and regulating them will allow us to know our own capabilities and limitations of our emotional experiences.

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