The cycle of violence in relationships

Violence in relationships can be expressed in different ways.. From physical to verbal and sexual violence, the couple can enter a spiral of violence in which the integrity of one of the members can be harmed, affecting their physical and mental health.

Relationships are not usually established in a context of violence. Normally, violence in relationships is usually a gradual process over time.. Thus, an inequitable relationship pattern is established, where one of the members tends to act in a more submissive way (violated/victim) while the other in a more coercive way (violent/aggressor).

Characteristics of violence in relationships

Violence in relationships is closely associated with social inequality. Normally, the victims are usually women, being a non-equal relationship. Violence in relationships can take place through different channels. From physical and verbal violence to sexual violence.

Sexual violence is one of the ways in which victims can feel most helpless. This is because, generally, society still maintains the belief that sexual relations within the context of a couple are always consensual.

Controlling and dominant behaviors are another form of violence in relationships.. Several examples can be given: isolating the couple from their immediate family, monitoring their movements, who they visit, their schedules, restriction of financial resources, etc.

The escalation of violence

In most cases, The violence is latent at the beginning of the relationship, but does not manifest itself. In other words, violence can be present from the beginning of the relationship, but in a different way: it is like seeing an iceberg only from the surface without taking into account its entire mass.

The cycle of violence usually consists of 3 phases that are not usually equal in intensity and duration. These phases are the following:

Strain: minimal incidents in the relationship that increase the tension and escalate to a cycle of violence.Assault: With greater or less intensity, after the accumulation of a certain tension, aggression towards the partner usually occurs.Honeymoon: In this phase, the person responsible for having carried out the aggression in its different forms usually repents, showing affection towards the partner, promising that they will not do it again.

Then, in this last stage, there is usually a period of tension again, where aggression will occur again and later move on to repentance. The problem is that the victim of violence usually forgives the partner in the third stage, either by withdrawing complaints or giving the relationship a second chance.

The honeymoon period usually shortens with each cycle, in some cases there are only phases of tension and aggression. So, The affection given by the aggressor is seen as a very rewarding source of reinforcement, being difficult to escape from the relationship.

Risk factors for the development of violent behavior in a relationship

Violence is the result of several factors that operate at four levels: individual, relational, community and social. Therefore, the risk for the development of violent behavior in a relationship is difficult to generalize due to cultural and social factors.

Nevertheless, some of the risk factors that can be generalized to all types of population they can be the following:

Low socioeconomic and academic level.Youth.Family history of abuse.Childhood sexual abuse.Consumption of alcohol and other drugs.Inequitable gender social norms.Light legal sanctions for gender violence.Personality disorders (especially, dependent personality in women).

Effects of violence in a relationship on children

Violence in a relationship can be even more serious if there are children. Children can present multiple problems related to mood disorders, such as anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder or depression.

It is not only reduced to the emotional and affective sphere of the child. The presence of poor school performance and physical health problems also coexist with observing violence in a relationship.

Furthermore, children who grow up in this context are more likely to commit violence against their partners in adulthood. Although the increasingly early existence of violence in relationships during adolescence is also of great interest.

How to prevent violence in relationships?

Broadening the base of awareness in society, in addition to the different ways in which violence usually appears, can be key to its reduction. In general, the strategies that can be carried out to prevent and reduce violence can be summarized as follows:

Dissemination and awareness campaigns for children and adolescents about the different forms of violence that can occur in a relationshipCampaigns to empower girls and adolescentsCreation of school programs where forms of violence are intercepted in the homeTeaching material in schools on violence in couple relationships, etc.

Prevention of violence gives special importance to the family and social environment. Programs that educate about gender become equally important to prevent children from accepting forms of violence as normal.

In any case, the most important prevention work in this sense always starts from education, so that all people know ways of effective negotiation and communication that make us rule out violence as an alternative course of action.

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