The contemptuous personality, what is behind this behavior?

Behind the contemptuous personality there is something more than simple disdain, the desire to offend or belittle other people’s achievements. In recent years, a behavior that, until not long ago, was somewhat neglected in the field of psychology, has been investigated in depth. Now we know, for example, that those who despise experience feelings of shame, irritation and even anger.

An interesting fact that is worth highlighting is that a good part of the scientific community assumes that We can now talk about the ‘contemptuous personality’ as such. That is to say, it is assumed that there is a significant number of people who display disdain and contempt on a continuous basis. There is, therefore, a pattern where emotion, feeling and behavior are stable over time.

Likewise, they are profiles that we commonly label as ‘unpleasant’ or unfriendly; men and women who apply just the opposite of what we understand as prosocial behaviors: kindness, empathy, courtesy and respect (Jensen-Campbell and Graziano, 2001). In view of this marked contempt and expressed activism for humiliating others, A large number of experts point out that we could even expand the dark triad to talk about the ‘dark tetrad’.

The contemptuous personality: how are they characterized?

Paul Ekman, one of the psychologists who has studied the field of emotions the most, reminds us that contempt is a universal emotion as common as sadness, disgust or joy.. We have all experienced it at some point, in fact, it appears in all cultures, but there are those who make it that filter from which to understand the world.

Dr. Roberta Schriber from the University of California, an expert in the field of emotions and, specifically, contemptuous behavior, points out that this type of personality is basically distinguished by three characteristics. They are the following:

They are people who do not respect the standards of coexistence and respect. This type of behavior, for example, is especially harmful in work environments. They are sarcastic, critical, they do not hesitate to humiliate and invalidate anyone who stands in front of their purposes.They are also distinguished by a clear feeling of superiority. They use a very marked attitude of arrogance. On the other hand, Something that the contemptuous personality seeks is to block someone who bothers them, someone who stands out in some competition.. He will not hesitate to criticize, to belittle values, to highlight the negative above any virtue that the target person he wishes to humiliate has.

Contempt always comes to us from people close to us

If contempt hurts, it is because in many cases it comes from figures who are quite close to us. We have already pointed out that the sarcastic personality very often navigates work scenarios. However, it is common to see this behavior in family members and even friends.

Thus, something that they point out to us in a study carried out at the University of Texas, by doctors Roberta Schriber and Joan Chung is that Contempt, when it comes to us from those people with whom we live daily, is usually more subtle. But, yes, time undoubtedly turns it into a weapon of mass destruction of self-esteem.

The reason? Because they use sarcasm, a smile that is kind but does not hesitate to point out our mistakes. They use condescension, those value judgments that seek to help but end up leaving us more broken and hurt. Likewise, we cannot neglect the fact that contempt very often comes from within relationships.

In these latter cases, clearly manipulative behaviors and attitudes can be seen, where the contemptuous personality makes use of that common trick of criticizing everything the partner does, says or feels. As John Gottman, relationship expert, pointed out, Contempt is one of those horsemen of the apocalypse that best predicts a breakup or divorce.

Healthy contempt, evil contempt

Contempt, as an emotion, serves a purpose in human beings.. It helps us distance, block or assume an active attitude towards what we do not like or bother us. There is a combination between the desire to set a limit, but also to intervene and not remain just in the mere feeling.

Knowing this we can even speak of healthy contempt. Most of us despise those who, for example, use violence; we also show this emotion towards those who mistreat women, animals, children, etc. We despise lies, arrogance and everything that goes against our values.

For its part, the contemptuous personality, which shows a stable pattern over time applying behavior of contempt and humiliation towards others, evidences what Dr. Roberta A. Schriber defined in a 2017 study as the dark tetrad. Thus, to the classic triad of narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism, we could perfectly add contempt.

This type of personality combines a series of very specific traits:

Low self-esteem with a need to ‘inflate’ your ego at all costsFeeling of anger and shame when someone surpasses them in achievements. Envy.Narcissism.

To conclude, as we can guess, The contemptuous personality is another element of that pole of human malignancy. capable of causing suffering and harsh impacts on our emotional and psychological balance. Let us therefore protect ourselves from those who despise as much as they speak. Let’s set limits towards those who do not understand the essence of civility and coexistence.

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