The bitterness of regret

There are few people who do not regret anything that happened in their lives., that there is no small or large aspect that they would not wish to have changed. We have all expressed at some point our regret for a specific act or circumstance.

Unfortunately, we do not yet have a time machine with which we can set a specific date at will, a particular moment to do things again, but in a different way. Living is deciding every day and in every moment, it is normal to make mistakesthe essential thing is to learn from them and act in a more appropriate way in the future.

But, What happens when we live with the bitterness of regret constantly? This is a dimension that perhaps is not as treated within the emotional world compared to others, such as sadness, anger or fear. Let’s look at some of its most distinctive aspects.

Regret, the bridge between reason and emotion

The most illustrative thing about this feeling is that we could not define it solely as an internal emotion., repentance is also nourished by reason. That is, the human being feels that pain because he has made a personal assessment of an event from the past, concluding that there was an error.

It is therefore a truly complex dimension where various emotions and a rational and, sometimes, even moral perspective intermingle. It is an internal judgment that almost always ends up leading to a feeling of discomfort at what has been lost.before what is done or what is not done…

But what do we usually regret? Sometimes we regret voluntary or involuntary acts, of hurting a person whether you want to or not, when we let that great opportunity go to waste that we did not dare to do due to indecision, fear… That fact from the past may not fall solely on your responsibility, perhaps others are also involved in it. occurred.

Hence the need to maintain balance, to understand that repentance is already a first step to forgiveness.. Maybe even a small springboard towards the will to want to solve something if possible. And if it is really no longer possible to remedy that fact in itself, we must assume it from an integrative perspective, to learn from our actions and continue following a wiser path.

Is it possible to find relief?

Psychiatrists explain to us that People who fail to isolate or integrate that fact from the past into their experiential plane intensify regret, due to a very characteristic error: that of comparing that fact with alternative events. What would have happened if I had said yes to that person? What would become of me if I had decided to do that? What if I had been a little braver?

All of this only aggravates the emotional suffering even more. The studies also tell us something curious: People regret more the negative results derived from actions takenthan the consequences for not having done something.

That is to say, The acts for which we are responsible and that have caused pain hurt more, that those in which, having had an opportunity to do something, we did not have enough strength to undertake it. And it is understandable.

Things that no longer have a solution must be assumed, and not continually obsess over imagining what our life would be like if we had acted differently. Assumption, integration and acceptance are essential to move forward and find our balance.

Now, if your regret is for something you didn’t do, something you didn’t say… you should ask yourself a simple question: Is there still any possibility of solving it? Sometimes, Repentance is a door to renewed motivation, n It’s never too late to open it again.

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