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The best way to leave someone we still love

“I love you, but I’m leaving you.” It seems like a contradiction, but who most and who least has seen themselves in that emotional situation: having to break up a relationship even though love still exists. How to deal with these situations? We analyze it.

It’s like a misspelling of life and a nonsense of affection. However, Having to leave a partner whom we still love is a very common experience.. It is when there is a betrayal in the middle and one must leave with a fragmented heart, but still beating for the one who deceived us. It also happens when, despite the passion, coexistence is as unsustainable as it is harmful.

We would love for love to be a much simpler subject and less easily convoluted and out of tune. Because, As the French writer Françoise Sagan said, loving is not just wanting, It is also understanding. However, he did not hesitate to point out that the only sensible way to love is bordering on madness… With which we could say that contradiction is an eternal continuum in this area.

It is difficult to keep our feet on the ground, but what we must never lose is our head. Continuing in a relationship in which there is love, but the wear and tear and suffering are continuous, does not make much sense. Because, although it is hard for us to believe it, sometimes those who love us the most hurt us the most and this is something we cannot allow..

Let’s see how to act in these situations.

Leaving someone you still love is an experience that usually marks us.

Few experiences are harder than realizing that the person we love is not the right one for us.

Keys to leaving a partner we still love

Sometimes love and events collide. Like two planets collapsing. We don’t really know why it happens, but one always reaches that age when he discovers that love can’t do everything. Also, that someone who loves us well should not make us cry, but he does. Sometimes, there is something inexact in the formula of affection between two and that is something that we become aware of sooner or later.

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Leaving a partner you still love is an experience that many have faced, it is true. Research from the University of Utah, for example, highlights something interesting. The reasons why we choose to leave a relationship can be multiple, but there is one decisive one: loss of trust.

It is not only about ceasing to feel that alliance and that authentic complicity with the loved one. It is realizing that, no matter how much we do, no matter how much effort we invest, what distances us is not resolved. Let’s reflect on those keys that we should take in these circumstances.

Speak honestly, but without giving in to new opportunities

To leave a partner you still love, it is essential to be honest with each other. You cannot end a relationship without giving an explanation, without having a final conversation to clarify the reason for the breakup. Let’s avoid clichés or clichés, let’s avoid the classic “it’s not you, it’s me” or “I’m not clear on things, let’s give ourselves some time.”

If we are clear that this relationship does not bring us authentic happiness, we must be assertive and say it out loud. To do this, nothing better to do the following:

Let’s clarify first what we are going to say. Let’s avoid improvising and be concise. Let’s be prepared for what the other person may say. If there is love in that relationship, they will surely use it as the main pretext, using phrases like “if you love me, you can’t leave me.” Let’s not fall into the trap of giving another chance. On average, it is to intensify suffering. In these situations we can explain the following. “I’m leaving because I love myself. “I’m going to leave this relationship because I love you and neither of us deserve to hurt each other like we have until now.”

Do not look for blame, an ending without resentment closes much better

When a relationship ends, blame is almost always sought. Maybe one betrayed the other. It is possible that one of the two neglected affection and attention. It is also often the case that characters and personalities do not harmonize too much despite love.

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Be that as it may, when leaving a partner whom you still love, it is advisable not to carry or project blame. Let’s assume that the breakup is the best option for both of us, the only way to stop suffering and be ourselves again.. Let’s do it without excess resentment and discomfort.

Have support to deal with grief

When a relationship fails, it breaks, we also break with it. Especially if love still persists. In these situations, it is essential to carry out a duel that allows us to go through all those complex emotions.. This process takes time and there will undoubtedly be hard days and moments of doubt.

In those moments of difficulty it is advisable to have good support: friends and family are those always essential allies.

Apply zero contact, the best strategy to move forward

When there is an emotional breakup, it is advisable not to follow the ex-partner on social networks. Avoiding all contact, both in real life and in the online universe, will prevent us from continuing to feed thoughts and emotions that no longer have a place. This will make it easier to move forward without looking back, without becoming anchored to someone who no longer has space in our present.

Given the need to recover the relationship, let’s remember why we left it

When there is still love in a relationship that breaks up, comings and goings are common. They are those “gum” bonds that are never completely broken, that go from reconciliation to breakup over and over again. It’s not appropriate. It is not recommended for our mental and emotional balance.

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Faced with the temptation to regain contact with the ex-partner, let’s remember what led us to leave that relationship. Let’s think about that suffering experienced, and ask ourselves where our dignity would be if we started contact again.

When we leave someone we love, it is good to set new life goals, meet new people, make a change.

Commit to the decision and set new vital goals

Leaving someone we loved because all we got was unhappiness is a brave decision. Prioritizing yourself is wise. Reaffirming one’s own decision without looking back is an act of great emotional maturity. It is true that, at times, when we close our eyes, certain significant and magical moments from that past relationship come to mind.

That this happens is positive, because of everything we have experienced, it is advisable to treasure the good moments. But the most decisive thing is not to go back, not to resume ties that hurt and invalidate us as people. So The best thing is to move forward, keep going, setting new goals, meeting new people, daring to continue growing with new learnings.. That is the secret of life.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Joel, Samantha & Macdonald, Geoff & Page-Gould, Elizabeth. (2017). Wanting to Stay and Wanting to Go: Unpacking the Content and Structure of Relationship Stay/Leave Decision Processes. Social Psychological and Personality Science. 9. 194855061772283. 10.1177/1948550617722834.

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