The art of persuading with respect and wisdom

There is no doubt that persuasion is an art. It seems that some are born with this gift. However, it is a myth. You too can learn how to persuade others

Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple, has been one of the great masters of persuasion. In his product presentation speeches he talked about features of something he had not yet named, he left pauses to create anticipation and at the end he pulled an iPhone out of his pocket. This is how he managed to persuade his audience and make them want to have a product that they had not yet been able to touch or try.

What Steve Jobs did masterfully to persuade was to use intrigue, do not reveal all the details until the last moment. It told a story and created expectation. In that way he captured people’s attention and generated emotions. It is not about winning, but about convincing, persuading another person to do something willingly.

“Very few people listen with the intention of understanding; They only listen with the intention of responding.”

-Stephen Covey-

Also It is important to differentiate between selling and persuading. Winning involves fighting, confrontation with another person, but if we act with respect and wisdom we will understand that winning is only something that satisfies our ego and that we do not need it. It is necessary to find and have the wisdom so that our objective is not to win, but to convince. and persuade another person to do what we want because they want it.

Techniques to persuade

One of the tools that can be used to persuade someone is reverse psychology, a behavioral technique used by the psychiatrist and writer Viktor Frankl.

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Reverse psychology consists of modifying a person’s behavior by telling them to do what we really don’t want them to do. That is, with this technique we help ourselves with the opposite aspects with the intention that the person rejects our suggestion and does what we really want.

In this way the person will resist receiving orders and will end up doing what we want. Therefore, The technique works because of what is called “psychological resistance,” which occurs when they tell us something that we think may represent a limit to our freedom and our ability to decide.

“Advertising is fundamentally persuasion and persuasion becomes not a science, but an art.”

-William Bernbach-

On the other hand, researchers at Yale University, among others Hovland and McGuire, developed a study on persuasion. They concluded that, For a persuasive message to change attitude and behavior, it must first change the thoughts or beliefs of the recipient of the message. This change will occur whenever the recipient receives beliefs different from their own accompanied by incentives.

There are four key elements in the persuasion process. The effectiveness of a persuasive message will depend on them, and they are the following: the source, the content of the message, the communication channel and the context.

How can you persuade others?

The art of persuading is a complex learning process that includes many factors such as intelligence, empathy, humor, sincerity, respect, the real will to bring positions together to reach an agreement… Therefore, we are going to discuss some of the secrets contained in the art of persuading with intelligence and respect.

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1. Sincerity

The source of the persuasive message is related to sincerity. That is to say, the source has to be seen as credible and true so that the message is sincere. It is good to consider our interlocutor as an intelligent person, who will know if our message is sincere or not. Testimonies or invented facts should not be usedif our interlocutor catches us in a renouncement, we and each of our messages will have lost all credibility.

“He who has the truth in his heart should never fear that his tongue lacks the power of persuasion.”

-John Ruskin-

2. The right time

For our message to be effective and persuasive, Choosing the moment in which we are going to carry out the communication is essential. On the other hand, It is important that we do not use too many decorations, so that the main message can be lost. It is also necessary to know how to manage silences and remain silent when we must remain silent.

3. The experience of others

The third element It is based on the importance of taking into account the value of other people’s sincere testimonies. Many companies today have achieved their success based on the testimonials and experiences of others.

What a third party or user of a company says is more credible than what that company says about itselfwhich is why collaborative companies based on user opinions and mutual collaboration are increasingly developing.

4. Persuade thanks to reciprocity

It is the last basic element of persuasion. If we receive something, we will feel indebted to the person who gave it to us.. That is why in marketing the technique of giving free samples is used to attract customers, or in spy movies we see in many scenes how the protagonist, to gain someone’s trust, tries to get them to give him something, even if it is a toothpick.

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But in this sense, It is necessary to take into account who the person we are dealing with is and know what their needs are. In this way we will generate an environment of reciprocity and exchange to be able to intelligently exercise persuasion.

In conclusion, The art of persuading is not a gift of birth. On the contrary, people who pay attention to the needs and interests of others can convince them with empathy and with messages and actions that encourage others to follow you, since your messages coincide with their goals or ambitions.