The art of being a coward

Do you know someone who you could define as a coward? What are the reasons that would push you to define it this way? Can his way of acting be justified? At work, in the family, in the group of friends… We all have someone close to whom we can label a coward.

Cowardice is one of the essential characteristics of the human being. It is widely shared, tagged in others, but very little recognized. However, and here perhaps surprisingly, In certain cases it is still an adaptive strategy for us.

On multiple occasions we have all looked back and found ourselves with a doubt: knowing what the result would have been if we had acted differently at that moment. And when analyzing it, We see that cowardice is behind many of our “what ifs.”

Cowardice goes hand in hand with fear and conformism. They are inseparable. If there is no fear behind it, it is not cowardice; perhaps comfort or laziness, but not cowardice. You can be a coward in several dimensions of this attitude. On an emotional level, on a behavioral level or even on a thinking level.

How is one a coward?

There are several ways to demonstrate cowardice. The most obvious is that it is reflected in behaviors. Beyond what we can feel or think There are times when the situation asks us to act and we do not do it.. It is a reflection of “non-reaction” due to paralysis, due to insecurity… we can give a thousand justifications.

This is the most well-known and visible form of cowardice.. We can recognize in others or in ourselves several moments in which we did not say “I love you”, “leave me alone”, “no, that’s your job, you do it”…

We can also be cowards of thought.

It may happen that there is an idea, a situation or even a memory that bothers us. or we are afraid and we don’t dedicate time to it. We don’t even think about it, even knowing that it can make our stomach “ball” or make it difficult to breathe. If they ask us to talk about it, we evade, change the subject or show forced indifference.

Finally, there is the emotional coward. Do not feel so as not to suffer. Running away from emotions is the solution for many people. They understand an emotion as a complication. Those people who get carried away don’t understand them.

But Those who flee from the sensations of fear, sadness, affection, anger have their reasons. These may be relationships with difficulty in recognition, expression and empathy in childhood or adolescence, bad experiences as adults and even the fear of losing control of impulses.

Why do we behave like this?

Whether it’s us who are cowards or it’s someone we know, the feeling in relation to cowardice is one of incomprehension, disappointment and even anger. Why do they behave like this? Why do I behave like this?

For both the brave and the cowards there is the same answer. A fundamental modulator of our courage has to do with the number and quality of the tools and personal training we have.

Fear is an emotion shared by everyone, however, cowardice is an attitude: the position we adopt in the face of that fear. Furthermore, one can act out of fear. It is something logical and human.

The tools we have learned to manage our emotions are essential

From there, cowardice is an element we have to deal with. With ourselves or other people, we would do well to rely on empathy, trying to understand (not necessarily support) the reasons that have incited cowardice.

At work, in personal relationships or even in some activity that scares you…fight against cowardice. It is based on the fact that there are no blacks and whites, the “all or nothing” are exceptions and not rules. There are degrees to go up little by little and leave behind that feeling of thinking, acting or feeling flooded with cowardice.

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