If you settle for crumbs, you will always be weak and hungry.

Crumbs allow you to survive, jump from one place to another over time. They allow you to continue living, but they barely support you, dragging down your self-esteem and your dreams. There are too many people settling for crumbs who have great sensitivity and talent, and too many people tasting the whole cake without the slightest hint of decency and feelings.

If people who settle for crumbs did not exist, people filled with ego and self-complacency would not exist, or at least they would have it more complicated. These are people who complement each other, creating toxic relationships.: the sadist with the masochist, the selfless worker and the exploitative boss, the dedicated husband and the harassing wife. The prudent father and the son turned into a “little tyrant.”

Do you think that these continua that have become dichotomies to be able to relate in the most comfortable and easy way arose out of nowhere? Do you think that some of us are born ready to settle for crumbs and others are born able to eat the whole cake over and over again?

Logically, this is not the case. Neither phrenology demonstrated that blacks had a brain with indentations that predisposed them to submission, nor did whites have a brain structure that made them masters and at the same time worthy leaders.

The ability not to rebel comes from very far away and the result is a self-esteem that is cornered and dwarfed by fears that in reality are simple shadows, thoughts of smoke that have no type of parallel story in reality except the chains that they impose on the people who they got it.

The crumbs to just survive today

Our crumbs to survive today are hunger and uncertainty for tomorrow. It is not easy to detect when you are being given crumbs and when you are receiving what makes you feel strong and whole. Let’s take the case of a woman who is looking for love and continually encounters men who lie and who also ignore her, giving them an irrelevant role in their lives.

This woman values ​​love, feeling accompanied, and the intimacy of hugs. She needs some dose of it to “keep going.” However, She gives so much and settles for so little that in the end she finds nothing of it. She finds a kiss among hundreds of rude remarks, hears a beautiful phrase after a large number of facts that contradict it, and finds herself sleeping with someone she knows less and less every day.

Think that loving without asking for anything in return is different from giving yourself without limit, until you find yourself dry and exhausted, with nothing positive to compensate for it. Until you end up in a situation where there aren’t even any burning nails left for you to hold on to.

You don’t have to set up a contract to know how much you’re willing to lose each time. It is not about foreseeing possible damages and prejudices. Your self-esteem needs eyes wide open, ears that listen intelligently, and a memory that knows how to relate what you have just experienced with what you really don’t want to happen again.

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Your self-esteem is not built with crumbs

Your self-esteem is not satisfied with crumbs because that is not how it is formed. Your self-esteem is made up of empathy, assertiveness and the ability to be independent. Damaged self-esteem is similar to a totally mediocre paid worker. Working hours and hours without stopping, without even the possibility of living a decent life.

Giving your all, enduring scorn or enduring indifference to please will never get you anywhere. That makes us a subsidiary element of the emotional, someone who lives the romance, enduring its ups and downs ninety percent of the time and its positive part 10%, to later become a one hundred percent exhausted person. Without the strength or self-esteem to look for something that truly fulfills him and not the crumbs that are thrown at him.

If you want to have your self-esteem protected and your life plans in sight and not adrift, don’t let others give you crumbs and let them see how you conform and even show gratitude for it, because perhaps you have come to think that it is the only thing you can aspire to.

The result is a vicious circle: when a relationship ends you will always be weak and hungry, settling for the crumbs here and there, never being able to taste the whole cake because you have convinced yourself that you do not deserve it and others have believed it. . And they seem to love that, for their comfort and play. In the face of crumbs, indifference.

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