The 7-year crisis in the couple: why is it talked about?

Next we will address one of those popular myths that have spread around the evolutionary milestones associated with romantic relationships and the passage of time.

Some couples separate after seven years together, while others survive this critical period or do not even experience it. The so-called 7-year crisis may be frequent, but it is certainly not universal. and it usually occurs -when it occurs- due to a shared disinterest of the members in the bond that unites them.

The 7-year crisis in the couple

The idea of ​​the crisis of the seventh year is rooted in popular language, as it is a mark in time associated with a certain stagnation in the couple. However, there is nothing magical or horrifying about 7 years of marriage. Although the large number of separations at this point gives food for thought. Why can this happen?

For seven years, a couple has had time to experiment, fail and try to come back. Seven years is usually more than enough for the other to be relatively predictable.

At this point, many couples may have the feeling that what is magical has become bland. A feeling that will make them decide if it is worth continuing, if in that shared routine there are still moments that are worth it.

Couple conflicts create distances in the relationship.

From falling in love to continuing with this person or not because it’s “what’s right”

As surprising as it may seem, the duration of a relationship does not tell us much about its quality. No one, except the members of a couple, know if they really follow a love that lasts or a commitment that suffocates them.

All couples face new challenges and stages. However, no important event, such as getting married, having children or signing a mortgage, is above seeking passionate, faithful and reciprocal love.

Due to what we consider “demands of the environment”, a couple can assume certain mandates or responsibilities, neglecting what is truly important for the bond. No matter how much commitment and routine a couple assumes, if intimacy is unsatisfactory, it is difficult to maintain the quality of the relationship.

Intimacy is the strength of couples and deep friendships. If it deteriorates, that relationship is doomed to come to an end. Be it an established end point for others or just for them.

How does it manifest?

After a while, any initial excitement that accompanies something new settles into a routine. Therefore, after 5-7 years of marriage, people become so used to each other that it may seem like marriage is boring.

This is often expressed through a lack of interest in sex, a feeling that you are no longer in love with this person, or wanting to have an affair and get divorced. The myth that accompanies the crisis at this stage of a relationship is that happiness is found elsewhere.

How to face the situation and overcome it if love remains?

Even though the divorce rate is high, there are many couples who seem to be resilient and weather the storms that come with marriage.

What are some strategies that successful marriages use to maintain the health of their relationship? Below we detail the most important ones:

It is important to discuss the mundane events of an average day and listen carefully to what the other person is saying. Introducing humor and play into the talk is also helpful and makes talking more fun.Listening helps validate what is being said. After all, monotonous events are what fill the average day of life. It is important that couples have time for these types of conversations.The importance of touch. It’s amazing how a touch can feel comforting and warm. It is important not to forget to touch each other. By the way, this is not exclusively sexual contact, but a spontaneous way of expressing interest and warmth for your partner. Couples can plan vacations together or make dates to go out for a romantic dinner without the children.Do unexpected things Like buying flowers if you rarely do it, writing romantic notes, and giving a warm kiss when you come and go, they can help build long-lasting marriages.The forgiveness. Life can be difficult at times and partners can say and do things that are cruel and unpleasant. Talking about these things and forgiving can go a long way toward ensuring a more mutually respectful marriage.

Making plans, listening to each other and understanding each other are aspects that strengthen the couple’s relationship.

Understanding, a fundamental pillar

Couples should not fear the seventh year as a “unique threat.” On average, marital satisfaction and overall quality decline during the first few years people are together, as “real life” and, in particular, children, enter the picture.

The best way to combat the 7-year crisis is to recognize it, if it exists, and from there implement effective coping strategies.

The goal of conflict is to achieve better understanding. Reality prevails: you can’t always be right and be married or in a relationship at the same time.

Each person can experience, at a given moment, a negative emotional state with a high power of transmission. Thus, it is necessary to take special care when this phenomenon occurs in the midst of delicate moments for the couple.

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