The 5 psychological consequences of bullying

In this blog, I have dedicated several articles to explain various aspects of the complex issue of bullying. In the present writing, I am going to deepen more on this topic to analyze the consequences it leavesboth in the short and long term, in the victims who suffer from it.

From time to time, when some unfortunate episode of child suicide, the media, take a fleeting interest in the issue of bullying. For example, we all remember the media noise raised by the case of Lucía, the 13-year-old girl who, unable to bear the bullying she received at her high school from several of her classmates, ended her life. .

However, after the collective indignation, in a brief period, the topic is forgotten and other news make headlines. The moment the lights go out, thousands of boys and girls who, in almost all schools in our country (and also abroad), suffer daily bullying, are again ignored and abandoned to their fate.

The consequences of bullying on the victims

The clearest and most evident effect of bullying occurs in the victim’s self-esteem, which is deeply damaged after the attacks received. These children, by themselves, usually already have a poor image of themselves and low self-esteem, therefore, when they are bullied, the problem worsens and the child enters into a vicious circle of heartbreak and contempt towards his person from which it is very difficult to leave.

Due to emotional damage (and on many occasions physical) suffered, these little ones tend to withdraw into themselves and stop defending themselves from attacks, which, in turn, encourages the bully (supported by his group), finding no resistance of any kind , persist in your harassment.

In addition to the obvious effects on self-esteem, we are going to see another series of consequences that bullying has on the personality of those who suffer it.

1. Poor school performance

This is usually one of the first alarm signals. Students who had a normal or high performance, without there being an obvious reason for it, become demotivated, stop studying and begin to fail.

2. Continuous alert

One explanation of the previous point is that the brain of the victim of bullying does not activate the learning mode, but rather continuously keeps in defense or survival mode. It has been proven that these children (and girls) are in continuous alert mode, their levels of stress hormonesTheir tension and anxiety never subside, just like soldiers who have been in combat.

These little ones, not knowing when or where their stalkers are going to appear, are always on alert, in constant surveillance mode. Obviously, what worries them least at that time is their academic results.

3. Helplessness

Not receiving support from his environment, they feel alone and abandoned against their stalkers. His only defense strategy consists of fold in on themselves and try to go as unnoticed as possible.

In them, this attitude becomes a pattern of behavior, so in their future they will proceed in the same way both at work, with their partners or in any other situation in which they feel in danger.

4. Somatizations

As a cause of the high level of stress suffered by victims, your immune system is severely affected, leaving them more vulnerable to any external attack. Stomach problems are frequent in these children (tummy ache, vomiting, diarrhea, irritable bowel syndrome), but the skin can also be affected by stress.

5. Depression and suicide

If the bullying continues for several years, it is common for these children to fall into depression and, in more serious cases, as we have seen, they may come to consider the suicide as the only escape from the hell they suffer daily.

long-term consequences

Although most people don’t know it, the effects of bullying do not end when you leave school or the university. The victims will drag, for life, the fears and insecurities that were recorded in their body and in their mind during the years of childhood and adolescence. In fact, many of the people who suffered bullying in their childhood, in their adult life they present social phobia and fear of facing situations that involve public exposure.

In my practice, I receive quite frequently adults who suffered bullying in their school years. Their reason for consultation is not this, but low self-esteem, social phobia or problems in their personal relationships, but when we delve into their stories, we discover the relationship between their present and their past.

Ricardo’s case

Ricardo was one of those cases that came to consult for a problem that he was jeopardizing his job.

I worked as a library assistant and felt a huge block every time I had to serve the public or when should admonish someone who made noise or that bothered others. When the hour in which he had to carry out the loan service approached or when he heard that someone was making more noise than was necessary, this young man, I felt terrible anxiety.

Working with his personal history, we find that Ricardo he had been bullied in his childhood. His bullies followed him between classes, hit him, made fun of him, called him derogatory names, hid his backpack or stole his school supplies, and even, on several occasions, he remembered spending several hours in a closet in the one who had locked him up to laugh at him.

Little by little, after much therapeutic work, Ricardo he was recovering his self-esteem and transforming the bad image that he had of himself, into a feeling of confidence and security in his person. As an anecdote I will tell you, that in one of the sessions he got so angry for not having had physical and emotional tools to defend himself, that after leaving the office, he signed up for self-defense classes at the gym in his neighborhood.

I want to end this article with a hopeful message for all those people who suffered bullying in their childhood and who continue to bear its consequences years later. It is always possible to be free of these harmful effects. Sometimes outside help is necessary to be able to do it, but the painful past can be left behind, it is possible to recover the self-esteem lost in our childhood.